<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Seasons of the Light- Season 14 by Kirabaros</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22383247">Seasons of the Light- Season 14</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros'>Kirabaros</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:47:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>40,495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22383247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabaros/pseuds/Kirabaros</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean said yes to Michael from Apocalypse world and is now paying the price. Sam is trying to find him while leading the resistance from Apocalypse world and Angie... She has a promise to keep. One shots tags from season 14. Set in the Chronicles of Absolution verse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sam Winchester/Angela (OFC), Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 14.01 A Strange Light in a Strange Land</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hibah has joined the search for Dean and Angela, but she's not really part of the team. Tag to A Stranger in a Strange Land.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three weeks.</p><p>It had been three weeks since the world was thrown for a loop once more. Three weeks since Dean said yes to Michael and had been betrayed. Three weeks since Jack lost his powers. Three weeks since she made the decision and now seeming a mistake to even the playing field. Three weeks since Abba had lost almost everything.</p><p>Hibah sighed as she looked around the bunker. She was still getting used to seeing all the people that Abba, Ima and Amitz brought back from the other world. She was also getting used to living with the fact that she may have made a mistake and it was part of the reason Abba looked despondent, but trying hard. If not for the sake of the others, for the sake of his daughter.</p><p>After Michael betrayed Amitz, she stayed with Abba, his mother and the others in the bunker. She offered to help and help she did. She hunted and she tracked. Eventually, she was able to tell Abba the truth. That she was the one that found the lost grace of Absolution and set it free. She was willing to accept anger, punishment, but it never came.</p><p>Hibah was still a young goddess/angel. She had yet to understand fully the world her beloved Ima loved so it struck her odd that Abba had been as forgiving as he was. Still, she wanted to make it up to him and stayed there to help him. He appreciated it and she saw how he appreciated Kesset’s wife, took over a more matronly duty, cooking food, cleaning, looking after Jess and her own daughter Ayana. He didn’t speak a word, but he appreciated it all the same.</p><p>In taking care of the bunker, she tried to help out in other ways. The people from the other world were a bit wary of her and she didn’t blame them. She had the powers of a god and the grace of an angel. She was an ultimate taboo and conventional wisdom was virtually unknown regarding her. She did make progress with Jack.</p><p>Jack had been going through a tough time. She couldn’t really relate since she had never lost her powers, but she knew what it was like to live as a human. She had been raised as one. It was what they bonded over. Along with Bobby, she helped him understand what it meant to live like a human and be human. And for the most part, he was a willing ear to listen, and he was trying since she learned that he had been particularly close to Ima. It was hard though because she, along with Abba and his mother, knew that the vessel for Lucifer was alive and human.</p><p>Keeping secrets sucked. There was no better word for it, but she understood the necessity, but that didn’t make it any better. Still she promised. It was little and poor comfort that the kept Nick isolated from everyone else. At least she was able to confirm that it was Nick and that his heart was good since she could see into the hearts of men. She just wished it would work like it used to so she could find Ima.</p><p>She had been outside the bunker, reaching out with powers trying to find Ima when she sensed Castiel in pain. Ever since her father had been killed for real, the bond between her and Castiel grew stronger. Before now, she would appear and ask how he was doing. She suspected that it was because Gabriel and Castiel shared a brotherly bond that was different from other angels. That and she just wanted to be closer to her father’s side of the family.</p><p>She didn’t care that she startled a few people when she zapped herself to where Abba was and said, “Castiel is in trouble.”</p><p>At that moment Abba’s phone rang. It showed Castiel’s number but it wasn’t the angel that spoke. Hibah didn’t blink when Abba looked at her with a wide eyed look. She didn’t flinch since she was well aware that the others in the room, with the exception of Jack and maybe Abba’s mother, were nervous about her abilities. She could easily them to back off and be annoyed, but it wouldn’t help anyone. Besides, her worry was on Castiel.</p><p>In the end, a plan was made and Abba even agreed to let Jack go. Hibah didn’t think it was a good idea since she had seen Jack trying to learn to defend himself, taking boxing lessons from Bobby. He was just learning. He wasn’t ready for what a demon could do. Still, she respected Abba’s decision and went to help Jack grab his gear.</p><p>Watching him pack, she said, “Do you know how to handle weapons?”</p><p>Jack looked at her and shook his head, “Not very well.”</p><p>Hibah smiled trying to be positive for his benefit, “Better at throwing a punch, then?”</p><p>“I want to help.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>In the end, it was a long a tense drive. While she could have used her abilities to get there faster, she liked the human mode of transportation. A couple of times on leads for Amitz she went with Abba. It was how she was able to tell him what she did and why. It was one of the few times she cried her apology. It always hurt worse when it hurt Abba, Ima or Amitz. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her mother and father. It was just that those three raised her from babyhood to nine years of age. That kind of thing didn’t go away. She remembered how she cried when she saw Ima cry after letting her go to return to the pantheon to her mother. She could feel Abba’s pain when he told his mother to stop saying everything would be fine.</p><p>She ended up leaning forward and speaking in Ancient Egyptian, knowing that Abba would understand. She told him, “The seed includes all the possibilities of the tree. The seed will develop these possibilities, however, only if it receives corresponding energies.”</p><p>She had said the same thing on one of their trips. She had said it in Ancient Egyptian and then translated it for him. It was a gentle rebuke that possibilities were only as good as the focus and energy you gave it. He probably didn’t want to hear it, but he did listen.</p><p>It was on his mind when he laid out the plan. Hibah didn’t like that he was to go in alone, but he wasn’t. If there was one thing she liked about hunting, it was the fact that she liked being sneaky about it. That and a good fist fight helped. Abba said she got it from Ima. She liked the idea of being stealthy, but she had to promise not to act until he gave the word.</p><p>It was hard to stand by and do nothing. It was doubly hard that she had to watch Jack get caught and sucker punched in the gut. It certainly struck home later when Jack was venting about being useless to Castiel. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but she wanted to hear Jack’s feelings. Like Abba, sometimes he didn’t say much.</p><p>Actually, it felt like people didn’t want to tell her much. She didn’t know if it was because of distrust, or dislike. She could handle the latter. She was considered an abomination and she heard that term at least once a week back in the pantheons from more old fossils of gods who tried to protect the sanctity of purity or whatever nonsense they spouted. The former was something different and it hurt since it seemed that people didn’t trust her.</p><p>She waited until Castiel left the room before coming back in. She made sure that Castiel saw her coming towards the room with some medical supplies. She put on a cheerful face as she said, “Hey, I brought some stuff for your face.”</p><p>Jack was nice about it and politely refused her help. In the end she found herself alone, sitting on the landing to the stairs of the entrance to the bunker. She had her legs dangling over the edge as she peered down below. She knew that Abba had others watching the roads and out hunting while reporting back hints of Amitz. She wasn’t in fear of being discovered. It wasn’t like people noticed.</p><p>Sighing, she leaned forward as she watched Abba cross the landing below. He paused to take Jess from Kate and he thanked her before heading to his room. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Jess and Abba together and sighed gently and a bit sad. She watched others move below, but didn’t say or do anything that would betray her position.</p><p>Hibah knew that she didn’t quite belong. Even Castiel, who was an angel and the people from the other world had every right to not like him, belonged. Abba would never tell her that, but she knew that he was trying to come to terms with what she had done. She also knew that Winchesters held grudges and it wasn’t pleasant if you the target of one.</p><p>She was neither god nor angel. All she truly knew what she was not. Sometimes, she wished she could get rid of her powers and live as a human. Those were happier times. Now, it was like people didn’t know what to do with her. Not even her mother back home knew what to do at times. It was a lonely world to be in.</p><p>She didn’t fit in with other halflings either. It baffled her that there was strife and petty jealousies even among those that were ostracized in the first place. She didn’t understand it. As much as she wanted to be herself, she knew she couldn’t. It was complicated and it sucked.</p><p>A chirrup caught her attention and she looked up to see a hawk perched on the railing looking at her. She grinned as she extended her arm and gently stroked its chest. Another reason why people thought she was strange. She had a hawk, a Levant sparrow hawk, given to her by Kesset, his shifted appearance.</p><p>Nebit accompanied her everywhere and when she decided to stay at the bunker, she made a few arrangements so the bird of prey could come and go as she pleased. Hibah stroked the hawk’s chest as she continued to watch. It had her wonder if Ima ever felt like this, like she was just passing through time, watching people go on about their lives, working with them but never really a part of it. It sounded like nonsense since Abba thought the world of Ima; they loved each other, enough that they had a daughter.</p><p>It was puzzling to Hibah and she wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to be able to make the difference that Ima did. As a goddess she was bound by certain rules, but she did want to learn and understand the humans that her Ima loved and she wanted to make things right by finding the woman that raised her and reuniting her with her family. It was something she tried to figure out how to do every night sitting there. For now, the best she could do was to live amongst the humans and maybe one day she wouldn’t be such a stranger anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 14.01 Strange but Familiar Territory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam is trying to keep it together and gets some respite but it looks like it has to take a back seat. Tag to Stranger in a Strange Land.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was tired. There was no easy way to say it. He was bone tired, but he couldn’t let up. He had to keep going if he was going to find his brother and free him from a backstabbing archangel.</p><p>Sam sighed heavily as he took stock of the day that just happened. It was like any other day, but it felt heavier. It was heavier in that Dean wasn’t there in the fight with him because out of desperation, he said yes to Michael and now Michael was riding free reign on him. It was heavy because out of desperation, the baby goddess/angel he helped raise gave his mate a power boost that now scared the crap out her and she felt she owed it to him to find Dean. It was heavy because he was doing everything in his power to do all that and be father to his daughter. It was exhausting.</p><p>His mom meant well, trying to get him to take a break. How could he? His people were from a world that didn’t have computers or know anything about the technology there. They were scared about the fact that he had things that could kill you wandering in and out of the bunker despite the fact that they had proven themselves. He was worried about Jack who wasn’t taking the loss of his powers or Angela very well. Hibah helped a little, but Jack was still suffering. He was running full throttle and well aware that he was running on fumes.</p><p>It wasn’t just looking for Dean. It was also dealing with the fact that he had the devil, no Nick in the bunker. It had been discovered that Lucifer was dead but Nick was very much alive and was remembering things. It was hard on Sam because Nick’s face was whom he associated with Lucifer. The devil had tortured him in hell and done unspeakable things to his mate. It was a major resetting of the mental gears.</p><p>Hibah was another piece. Sam couldn’t really be mad at her for what she had done. She was trying to help the people that mattered the most to her. The girl knew who her birth parents were, but she always considered him, Angela and Dean her family. She responded as they would and if that didn’t make her a Winchester… He just had a hard time dealing with the fact that she was there in the thick of it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her there. It was the parent in him and he really didn’t know how to connect with her. True they had encountered each other before since she helped him find Angela and helped out on other things, but he still saw her as the little girl he knew. At least he understood where his mother was coming from.</p><p>Mary meant well and she did lay it on him about staying positive. Sam was just tired. Tired that it never seemed that they could truly catch a break. He just wanted to be a good father to Jess and he knew he was lacking in that area currently. Kate laid that one on him since she volunteered to be the bunker’s housekeeper and watch Jess. And she was doing this while raising Ayana since Kesset was on duty looking for Dean and helping out. It really had him think if this was what Angela worried about when she used to lead armies and what she worried about when they were starting their family.</p><p>Sam could admit that he was glad that he had Hibah there. As much as he worried like a parent, he knew she could handle herself and she didn’t have to use her abilities. He did make use of it though and had her go in with him when he met the demon that thought it would be a good idea to use Castiel as bait and make a deal. At least he didn’t have to use Angela’s name to strike fear into the other demons. They were scared of him. Handy thing a little reputation could be.</p><p>Things didn’t go all as well though. It had probably been foolish for him to let Jack come along, but he understood the kid’s need to feel useful since he felt useless without his powers. Jack got hurt and now felt worse than ever. Sam didn’t have to hear the conversation Jack had with Castiel. He could feel it. He knew that Jack was trying to prove something and he was struggling to understand why Angela wasn’t with them now.</p><p>Jess didn’t seem to have that much of a problem. Yes, she knew her mother wasn’t there and she missed her uncle, but she was happy to have her father there. Sam knew that Kate didn’t like he was running on empty and hadn’t spent a whole lot of time with his daughter lately. He just felt like he was being pulled in so many directions and he was struggling to keep it all from breaking.</p><p>It was mental anguish and dwelt heavily on his mind when he walked into his room that night. He went to check on Jess to make sure she was sleeping comfortably before he went to bed. Then he would get up and do it all over again. And maybe he would consider a few changes.</p><p>He threw his keys onto the desk and sighed heavily from the tiredness. He contemplated just falling onto his bed as is. He was that tired and he doubted sleep would give him the respite he needed. Still… He leaned heavily on the desk as he pulled his phone out and tossed it onto the surface. It was then he felt a familiar warmth wrap around from behind and he closed his eyes and breathed, “I didn’t think you’d come.”</p><p>“I didn’t want Atlanta to end.”</p><p>Sam sighed and smiled tiredly when he turned to face the one person that made it all bearable. Sitting on the desk allowed him to pull her into his arms and just hold her and he replied softly, “Chasing fruitless leads, long hours of research… just the way I want it, Angie.” He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath of her scent.</p><p>Angela took the opportunity to hug and snuggle into his warmth. She wasn’t hesitant about breathing in Sam’s scent as he wasn’t about doing the same with her. Feeling calm, she said, “I miss you.”</p><p>“You’re here now as you have been every few nights,” Sam pointed out.</p><p>Secrets were another thing wearing him down. He knew that Angela would come home. He had faith in her and she did. The thing was that she needed to keep going. She was trying to track down Dean and was sending home leads. It was why he went to Atlanta. She found a promising lead, sent word and he came. It turned out to be nothing but still…</p><p>It was dumb keeping this a secret since there were people who would benefit seeing her even if it was only a brief respite. Yet it was twofold. She didn’t know about Nick yet and Sam wasn’t even sure how to tell her. She held onto grudges longer than he and Dean put together especially if it involved her family. He didn’t know how she would react and we wasn’t sure if he could stop her if she reacted. It was unknown territory after what Hibah did and he would have preferred to do the one step at a time thing.</p><p>At least she knew about that. The blow was softened since Angela knew what grace felt like and made it easier to digest. And she took his advice to let them help. She didn’t stay away. Being there made him hug her tighter and search for her lips to plant a kiss. “Angie…”</p><p>Angela accepted the kiss and caressed his head, running her fingers through his hair. She broke it and turned it into a nuzzle. “I know,” she whispered. “I still miss you. Il mio curore.”</p><p>Sam hummed as he held her, not wanting to let go. “I love you.” He grinned and teased, “To the stars and back.”</p><p>“Tease,” she retorted playfully.</p><p>Sam knew she could see his tiredness and no doubt blaming herself as she caressed his locks. It was clear when she said, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be. This is new for all of us and I get why you want to be cautious.”</p><p>“I hate being away from my family, but I am scared Sam.” Angela looked at him with the worry clear in her eyes. “I am terrified of what this means. I know I’m no angel but some of things I learned and can do…”</p><p>Sam reached up and stroked her cheek. “You’re still you,” he affirmed. It wasn’t just empty words. He meant it with all of his heart. “You are still you, Angie. Always will be. I really want you here, at home with me, but… you’re helping with finding Dean. That’s a lot and… it means a lot.”</p><p>“Trying to be like me.”</p><p>“I’m a selfish bastard.”</p><p>It was an old argument and one that turned into playful seriousness. Angela looked at Sam as she brushed his cheek with her fingers. “And I’m the most selfish of us all,” she countered.</p><p>“Still love you.”</p><p>It caused Angela to smile and lean forward to bury her head in his chest. Sam just sat there holding her. He treasured these moments and was why he wasn’t collapsing just yet. Sometimes he just wanted to keep her there and never let go.</p><p>“I can’t stay away anymore, Sam. I know Jack is hurting, Hibah feels lost and Jess… I just want to hold my baby.”</p><p>Sam processed what she was saying, “So, this means?”</p><p>“I’m staying. I’m back. I’m home.”</p><p>It was what Sam wanted. True there were some complications, but they would figure it out. Right now, he was just happy. Happier than he had been in a while. He started kissing Angela feverishly and she returned it. He didn’t get very far when his phone buzzed. He sighed in annoyance and rolled his eyes slightly.</p><p>“Duty calls.”</p><p>“Don’t think so,” Sam replied as he checked to see that there was no ID on the caller. He held onto Angela by leaving his hand on her hip and answered. He was surprised at who was on the other end, “Jo?”</p><p>
  <em>We’ve got a problem.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 14.02 Gods, Monsters, and the Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tensions go back up when Sam's secret about Angela is revealed to his mother and Bobby. Not to mention that Angela doesn't quite believe Dean is really Dean. Tag to Gods and Monsters.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a risk to make, but Sam thought it was the right one. There was one hunter amongst them that could truly track down Michael/Dean. That was the practical reason. The other was that he was just plain selfish. He knew it and admitted it to her.</p><p>Angela had come back to stay and to track down Michael/Dean. Her arrival was greeted with suspicion, joy and relief. Sam didn’t blame everyone for feeling that. She did disappear for three months to track Dean while getting a grip on what happened to her after Hibah released her grace back into her. This would be a real test now that she was home.</p><p>The only person that was truly full of joy apart from him was Jess. She saw her mother and squealed out, “Mama!”</p><p>It certainly had everyone else relax around Angela. They were used to the fact that Jess was sensitive and knew what was true and what wasn’t. The dogs helped too, but a baby and not to mention that Ayana was there and just as happy was a plus in Angela’s favor. It was a step forward towards making things right.</p><p>They had tracked Michael/Dean to Duluth. It had Angela chomping at the bit to go. It was all Sam could do to make sure she didn’t go stir crazy since he was well aware she could make that distance faster running on her own two feet than driving. He wanted the group to know what she could do but was well aware of the dangers of too much and too fast. The upside was that she went with them the normal way to Duluth.</p><p>Sam wasn’t sure what he was going to get when he went into the coroner’s office with his mother, Bobby and his wife. At least Angela played the scientist role. She did have degrees in science and was a doctor for a short time. It allowed her to ask the science questions and the coroner readily answered them though Sam suspected that Bobby and his mother felt a little out of place with Angela’s mannerisms.</p><p>The teaser before the show was after the examiner left and Angela said, “It stinks of archangel.”</p><p>Sam knew Angela was blunt in most things. She didn’t like to bullshit. That statement was a little more out there than usual. To stave off the inquisition that was to follow, he asked, “Is it Michael, Angie? You got the scent?”</p><p>“A perversion of Dean’s.”</p><p>At that moment Angela’s eyes flared. Sam knew that she was going into tracking mode. He pressed, “Can you track where they came from?”</p><p>“Track?”</p><p>Sam turned to see Bobby looking like he was ready to start asking questions. His mother was puzzled too, and she shouldn’t be. She knew Angela could determine who was who based on the scent. That was no secret, but he knew that the questions were piling up. It was better to take it by the horns. He explained, “Angie can… track and… often days after the target has passed.”</p><p>It didn’t help that Angela told them to sush and started looking around. Sam wanted to wince when he heard her twitch as she was using all of her senses to scent, hear, taste and process everything about the bodies. And it was made worse when she flared out while doing it and growled slightly before calming down and saying, “There was a girl. She knows about it.”</p><p>Sam looked at everyone before going to follow up. They did get a lead and found the vamp that escaped. It was made worse when Angela really showed her abilities and got into the room with inhumane speed and literally scared the girl into standing still. He understood the dynamics of alphas and subordinates and the hierarchy in vampire society. He knew the reason the girl stood still, and her gaze never left Angela’s while she told them everything.</p><p>“Sam is Angie okay?”</p><p>Sam looked at his mother while they were regrouping, and Angela went to back track the dead vampires. He knew that he wasn’t going to hide it. He knew that his wife and mother had been close, and it felt a little safe to talk to her. Sighing he replied, “She’s fine… mostly.”</p><p>“Mostly?”</p><p>Sam had kept plenty of secrets in his life. Some were for reasons of protection and Dean knew that and had been involved in that. The things people did for the ones they loved, and he was hardly in a position to grumble and criticize. He explained, “Angie… she’s a reincarnated soul.”</p><p>“Not a surprise.”</p><p>“An angel soul.”</p><p>That really threw things for a loop and Sam found himself telling his mother about how he and Angela were soul twins and that in the beginning were once angels but sent to earth to live as mortals or as close to it as possible. It ended with him telling her about Hibah finding Angela’s residual grace and releasing it and now getting Angela the way she was now.</p><p>“The grace, it didn’t turn her into an angel but rather… amplified her existing abilities. Specifically, those that are…”</p><p>“Vampire.”</p><p>Sam knew it was a lot to digest. “It made her into an apex hunter. She can track what has been there hours even days after what she’s hunting has passed.”</p><p>Bobby didn’t quite handle it quite so well. “You mean we’ve got a super charged vamp out there that could…”</p><p>“It’s how I checked on the leads she found.”</p><p>Sam had to wince at that since it revealed that he had been seeing her when she was gone. It was awkward for about five minutes and Sam knew the looks of betrayal well. He never mentioned seeing her at all when he went out. He essentially lied, and it was not going to end well.</p><p>“Found it.”</p><p>Sam swallowed and looked at Angela. One look told him that she knew what they had been talking about. He gave her apologetic look and made a sound in his throat that stated that they would talk later. At that point, he didn’t care that they heard him talking in ‘beast language,’ but he did want to spare anymore awkward conversation. They had to find Michael now.</p><p>There was no need for pretense when they were attacked by werewolves. It was alarming when the usual tactics didn’t work. Silver was the go-to and it didn’t do jack shit. And that was when all hell broke loose. At least not literally.</p><p>“Still thinking about the church?”</p><p>Sam sighed as he turned away from the window of the motel they were staying at. He leaned against the dresser and stared at Angela. He put one hand around her waist and the other automatically started brushing the stray locks from her face. He replied honestly, “Just thinking about how to… soften the blow. I mean I lied about knowing where you were and that we were seeing each other.”</p><p>Angela nodded and looked downward, “I’m sorry to put you through that.”</p><p>“It was my choice, Angie,” Sam cut her off. He used his finger to hook under her chin and gently raise her gaze towards his. His first finger teased her skin. “I made the decision to keep what was going on a secret.”</p><p>“Protecting me. Protecting what we’ve been dealing with the last decade.”</p><p>“And for good reason. Especially now.”</p><p>“Our babies.”</p><p>Sam made a sound at that. He knew she counted Jack as her own and he didn’t mind at that. He looked after Jack too and tried to help him. He understood what she meant. “Our family,” he clarified.</p><p>“Sam,” Angela shook her head slightly, “I know that Mary and Bobby are highly suspicious and afraid. I can sense it. Like and animal can smell fear in their prey. My best friend and the one who was like a father to me are afraid. Afraid of me.”</p><p>Sam saw Angela start to panic and get hysterical. It was reflected in her eyes as they vamped out along with tears. It was then he heard, “And you’re afraid of me too.”</p><p>It was like getting a bullet to the heart when he heard that. It pained him that she felt that and didn’t blame her. He was afraid, but not for the reasons she thought. He understood though where it was coming from.</p><p>When it was discovered that silver wasn’t working, that was when things really got out of hand. One of the werewolves hit Angela across the face and it pissed her off royally. And it didn’t help that Sam got cut in the fray. She had smelled his blood and… She completely vamped out; the fangs came out and she growled like an animal.</p><p>Sam didn’t have time to worry since he had his own problems at the time, but he saw her charge at the werewolf, grab it by the head and flipped over. The force of the maneuver ripped the head clean off. She was still vamped out and that was when another secret came out. She ran over, but it was a blur to the werewolf that was pinning him down.</p><p>Sam had seen her do amazing things. Mostly it was the cool side of her abilities. This was the more bloody and brutal. Brutal as in she didn’t think twice about literally punching a hole through the werewolf’s back and ripping its still beating heart out. At that moment he was afraid. But not of her.</p><p>“I’m not afraid of you,” Sam replied as he tightened his grip on her when he felt her start to pull away. Probably not the smartest of things since she would always be the stronger of the two of them, but he trusted her; he knew she would never hurt him. He trusted that as he held on to make her understand, “I’m afraid <em>for</em> you.”</p><p>“Is there a difference?”</p><p>Sam stroked Angela’s cheek, “A big one.” His thumb wiped away the tears that were forming. “I’ve never been afraid of you, Angie. I know what you are and who you are and I love all of it. If I were really afraid, I would have run long before we mated.”</p><p>“And somehow I think that would have been the smarter move.”</p><p>“Maybe, but the wrong one.” Sam lifted her chin. Her eyes were still vamping out but the teeth had been reeled in. “Always and forever.”</p><p>The release of breath was a good sign and Sam continued, “I’m scared for you. That…”</p><p>“There is a line that if crossed would turn me into the hunted.”</p><p>“If crossed would destroy you,” Sam corrected, “Destroy who you are and you would be destroyed by guilt, because you are the most selfless, caring person in the world. Everyone who has met you knows that. I knew that first thing.”</p><p>Sam allowed the silence to filter in to let her think. Then he heard, “God, and I made things worse. Bobby and Mary saw and…”</p><p>“And I’m not gonna let them hurt you. Mom wouldn’t do that. She knows you.”</p><p>“Not this.” Angela shook her head and turned away trying to keep her panic from rising again. Her eyes hadn’t stopped vamping out. “She’s seen me fight and kill but this is a whole other level.”</p><p>“I told Mom that the angel grace gave you a power boost.”</p><p>Sam was relieved to see the look of annoyance on her face and for a moment thought it looked pretty cool with her eyes vamping out. He shrugged, “It is. Maybe not like what usually is implied but…” He shrugged again. “It’s just going to take some getting used to and if it helps, the way how Ayana and Jess reacted are in your favor.”</p><p>“And more likely will have her and Bobby question your sanity.”</p><p>“You’re Jess’ mother.”</p><p>It was a firm statement that said exactly what Sam thought in not so many words. He would be firm on that. He knew that Angela would never do anything to hurt her family. The problem was what she would do if someone tried to hurt them or force a separation between her and her children. He knew she was like a mother lion or a mama bear, it was the closest he could come up with, when it came to protecting children in general, even if they weren’t hers. He was sure his mother knew that and wouldn’t try anything.</p><p>That seemed to calm her down enough and allowed Sam to pull her into his arms. He could hear her trying to stifle her remaining tears while seeking comfort in his scent. He almost wanted to smile at the fact that he could feel her nose pressing into his chest. If anything, scent was the most powerful thing she had and what she found the most comfort and had the most reliability in when all other things failed. And he never forgot what she told him long ago. It took him time to figure it out, but it became clearer when he noticed her using her sense of smell more often.</p><p>
  <em>Scent and feelings are a powerful memory and what I remember most is being around those scents… All of them were there, but one was dominant and it made me feel… It made me feel for the first time in my life, safe.</em>
</p><p>It took a while, but when it became clear… Since then, he always tried to give her that feeling. Even when they were in the thick of it, she felt safe to be herself with him and extended it to Dean. She craved it when she took Jess to hide from the British Men of Letters, and he never poked fun at the fact that when she needed soothing, she dug out one of his shirts from the hamper and wore it. It was weird on some level, but he got it.</p><p>He was afraid for her with the new and strange stuff going on with her. It scared him as much as it did her. He didn’t have souped up senses like her, but he had always been in tune with her emotions. He could sense when she was afraid even when she hid it from others. He would do his best to keep her safe.</p><p>“At least we have Dean back.”</p><p>Sam chuckled at that deflection, but it was a sign she was feeling better. There was relief at having Dean back, but he sensed that she was saying that more for his benefit. Maybe it was her senses being on alert, but he got the feeling that she wasn’t entirely convinced that Michael left his brother. She couldn’t say how or why and didn’t bother since she was already looked at with suspicion and left it at that. It had him wish that they could catch a break, but he trusted her. She knew angels better than he and Dean and while Michael was from another world, they were essentially the same. But that was a problem to address in the morning and turned his attention to soothing his mate enough to get her to go to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 14.03 Light Scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jodi provides from meaningful comfort even after everything that has happened and what she has seen. Tag to The Scar.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jody decided to get involved in the world that Sam and Dean operated in, she didn’t expect a lot of things. And she certainly didn’t expect to become surrogate mother to three girls who had become involved in that world. And most definitely she didn’t expect to take on a mother like role to a grown woman whose emotional level was like that of a child at times. She didn’t expect it and yet, no regrets about it even when it seemed to make her go premature grey.</p><p>It was a relief to hear from Sam that Dean was back and so was Angela. Like everything else though, it was coupled with the fact that there was something supernatural related going on and it was related to what happened to Kaia. And she had to deal with the consequences of not letting Claire know about it when it came in. One thing on top of another.</p><p>The bright side was that Sam gave a willing report on the baby. Ever since she saw Jess being sensitive to the supernatural, she worried. Not over whether or not she was safe at home. Jody knew Sam would defend his daughter to his last dying breath and he practically had an army of friends that would do that as well. She was worried on Jess’ psyche. She was still a baby, but the fact that she had been separated as long as she had from her mother…</p><p>Sam said everything was okay and even commented that Jess said her first sentence even though it was short. Jody felt envious that Sam was going through what she did with her son and envious that he would get to do things that she wouldn’t because her son died so young. She never resented Sam for doing what he had to do that night and it developed a bond of understanding between them.</p><p>She was happy that Dean was back. She had gotten the bare bones of what happened to him and she was relieved. She was also concerned. It bothered her that underneath his happiness to see her, he was impatient and nearly downright rude at times to get on the trail of the one that killed Kaia. The only one who didn’t seem to put up with that was Angela.</p><p>Jody knew that Angela had not been home the past couple of weeks. Sam had been elusive on it but managed to convey that it had to do with training new abilities and looking for Dean. She suspected there was more to that but didn’t press. Sam had a lot on his plate from what he managed to convey to her. But she was glad to see people that meant a lot, and she was glad that Angela wasn’t averse to having a hug when they met again and Jody even got over the fact that Angela actually paused and sniffed her.</p><p>Jody was good at keeping connected with the Winchesters and knew quite a bit. However, she was surprised to see how even a short span of time changed a person. She noticed it the most with Angela. As she saw, the woman was not putting up with Dean’s bad mood and Jody had been surprised when Angela literally growled at Dean to indicate he acted unruly and she wasn’t having it. Jody had never heard Angela growl to berate bad behavior and even more shocking was that Dean knew what she meant. She couldn’t help but voice, “Wish I knew her secret.”</p><p>Sam had humored her and said, “Just presence.”</p><p>It was meant to be joking but Jody got that there was more to it. It went back to the whole mated pair thing. Jody never pretended to understand, but accepted it. She knew Angela was half human and half vampire and some things just were as they were. It didn’t mean that she cared and loved the woman any less. It did leave room for surprise though.</p><p>The hooded person was a big surprise. It was like a ghost had come from the past as Jody looked at a girl that looked just like the Kaia she knew. It definitely wasn’t Kaia though when the girl defended herself. Angela though seemed to expect it and countered. It was when Jody saw something that she had never seen before.</p><p>When the other Kaia took off running, Angela was ready to pursue. She took off afterwards, but faster than anything she had seen. It had her wide eyed when Angela jumped onto the top railing of the fence and crouched. She only stopped when Sam called out to her and Jody thought she heard the unmistakable sound of what sounded like a lion growl or roar. Jody could only stare since Angela was perfectly perched on the railing and Sam wasn’t even flinching.</p><p>It was to become even more alarming when Angela sensed those werewolves and left to track them. Jody saw the eye flare and heard the growl. Then the werewolves attacked and all hell seemed to break loose. It certainly didn’t help that she got her arm broken again. That seemed to be a ‘perk’ of this job considering the injuries she had sustained since getting to know the Winchesters. In any case, she was unprepared for what she saw coming next.</p><p>Dean had the right idea to make it so the other Kaia could get herself free. Even Jody didn’t anticipate that she would dive out the window. Nor did she expect Angela to appear in a blur and completely… Jody had no idea what it was. The timing couldn’t be better since Kaia appeared with her weapon and killed two of the werewolves while Angela took care of the one that got the drop on Dean by ripping its heart out.</p><p>Jody thought it would end there. She could be kind and assume it to be adrenaline, but she didn’t know what to make of it when other world Kaia swung her blade, her intention to kill Angela. She was vaguely aware of shouting to Angela to look out, but everything seemed to happen in slow motion.</p><p>Jody knew that the past few years, maybe more, that Sam had been learning a few things. Things that were in that category of more strange and unusual and more along the lines of method to madness. She and Sam did talk while Angela had been gone since he did call about a few things regarding Jess and babies in general and the subject came up. She ended up getting her dormant questions answered.</p><p>Angela seemed to sense the attack was coming and whirled to defend herself, but there was no weapon in her hand. Jody blinked at seeing what looked like a circle of light emerging from her fingertips and colliding with the blade. If it weren’t enough, she saw Angela’s eyes glitter from vamping out along with the teeth and a beast like growl or roar came out as she narrowed her eyes at other world Kaia.</p><p>For a moment Jody feared another fight would break out, but it didn’t. Other world Kaia smirked and lowered her weapon, like she was expecting that. Angela stood down as well, her features returning to normal, but she held the girl’s gaze, apparently not backing down. It was then that Jody saw that Sam was standing close like he had rushed in to help.</p><p>“So you really are the one. Tell me: will you truly be a protector of people?”</p><p>An odd question, but Angela seemed to know what other Kaia meant. A silent understanding seemed to pass between them before the other Kaia was gone. The only thing that Angela said was, “At least the stench was tolerable now.”</p><p>Jody was flabbergasted and could tell that Dean was as well. Sam just seemed sad over it, but understanding. It prompted her to seek out the other woman before they left. What she didn’t expect was, “You’re afraid of me aren’t you?”</p><p>Angela was leaning against Jody’s car with her arms across her chest, like she was trying to burying herself in them. Jody blinked at that and automatically replied, “No. Course not.”</p><p>“Don’t lie, Jody.” Angela looked at her with a lopsided smile and tapped her ear. “I can literally hear lies.”</p><p>Jody had to rethink a few things and corrected, “A little.” When she heard Angela sigh sadly, she continued, “Only because I’ve never seen what I just saw. The heart ripping thing…”</p><p>“Yeah. I overdid it, but I could smell the stench of Michael on them.” Angela shrugged at that and added, “Seems like things have to get bloody. Phillippe, you bastard.” She looked away as she snorted her contempt.</p><p>“So you know the leader?”</p><p>“Of this clan. Always an ambitious lout.” Angela snorted again as she looked at nothing in particular. She looked at Jody, “Not all werewolves are like that.”</p><p>“Yeah, Liam came by and flirted with me and Claire almost stuck him.” Jody frowned as she added, “And he was oddly cheerful about it.”</p><p>“He would considering he helps train the guardians of Rosyln Academy,” Angela replied smiling. “And don’t tell me you don’t like him.”</p><p>“Fine I won’t,” Jody countered with a smirk, glad that some things didn’t change. She sobered though and asked, “How are you really, Angie?”</p><p>“Oh I hate the fact that I have been souped up by angelic grace… my grace. And now I am, according to Sam, an apex predator. Mostly because I can track my prey often days after they passed through an area. Handy for tracking Michael at times.”</p><p>“You have grace?”</p><p>Angela turned a bemused expression at Jody, “Residual… from when I was an angel.” She sobered and looked away and sighed, “Hibah thought she was doing what was best. Can’t blame her for that. I’m just frustrated that my learning curve is steep.”</p><p>Jody stared at Angela before siding up and putting her uninjured arm around the woman to give a hug. “But you’re trying.”</p><p>“Trying and scaring people trying to understand.” Angela smiled slightly. “And Sam has been more understanding and patience than I deserve.”</p><p>“Considering how much he loves you… makes sense,” Jody countered. And it was true. She had seen how Sam looked at Angela and how she looked at him. It was like that what was described in romantic fairy tales. “I do admit the new stuff is scary and now I know where Sam learned that Dr. Strange thing you do.”</p><p>“Alchemy magic.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Jody countered, “The point is… it’s new. New things are scary and I already knew what you were capable of and heaven forbid I see you if someone hurts Jess… but it doesn’t mean that you mean anything less to me. And if I can handle three teenagers learning hunting…” She made a face that was meant to be funny.</p><p>Jody always knew Angela was one to hold the Winchesters together. They both depended on her and loved her in their own way and they did try to be people she could count on. It was easy to forget she was person too and needed occasional reassurance and a shoulder to cry on. Sam definitely did that role very well, but Jody knew that there were different kinds of needs.</p><p>“Let me look at that.”</p><p>Jody found her broken arm being taken by Angela. It stunned her, but she didn’t feel a thing as Angela looked at her arm before hovering her right over it. Jody barely had time to think before she heard the pop and felt the sharp pain and then it was gone. She looked up at Angela, “Never saw that before.”</p><p>“Try not to use it too much. Drains a lot of energy for major injuries. Small stuff… easy.”</p><p>Jody rubbed her arm and tested it. It was like it hadn’t been broken. She looked at Angela and saw the broken and tired look on her face. It wasn’t physical tiredness. It was weariness out of everything that had happened. The sum of all experiences was written upon the woman’s face, scarred into memory. She couldn’t help but wrap her arms around Angela and pull her into a hug. She smirked and choked out a chuckle when Angela dipped her head and rubbed hers affectionately.</p><p>This had been a tough trial. Jody knew that it was rough after everything. She was raising three teenage to young adults into the hunting world and she was going to have to deal with the fact that she withheld information from Claire. People had to live with the consequences of the choices they made. She was prepared for that, even if it made her old and grey. Eventually the scars faded away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 14.04 Light's Condition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angela gets back into the routine of being the stay at home parent and has a little Halloween fun. Tag to Mint Condition.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>And now Dean wants to do Halloween next year. He went so far as to name ‘couple’ costumes.</em>
</p><p>Angela gently chuckled at that as she bent to check the oven. She smiled when she heard the excited voices of children in the room where her family liked to hang out at the end of the day. She replied, “Well, I do like the idea of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Goes with everything else.”</p><p>
  <em>Don’t you start now.</em>
</p><p>“I think it’s cute,” Angela replied, teasing Sam. “I mean especially if it’s you and me.” She tried to hold in the laugh that threatened when she heard the subtle huff of annoyance Sam gave when he was being teased and no mercy was being shown.</p><p>
  <em>Angie!</em>
</p><p>“I do think it’s cute, but I’ll have mercy on you.” Angela smirked as she glanced at the fridge. “And that thing with strawberries you like is part of it.”</p><p>
  <em>You know how to hit hard. I love you.</em>
</p><p>“I love you,” Angela countered as she turned to finish what she was doing. “I miss you.”</p><p>
  <em>I miss you. I look forward to coming home to you every night.</em>
</p><p>“Good answer… flatterer.”</p><p>
  <em>Honest truth.</em>
</p><p>Angela smiled and hummed hearing their old joke between them. She knew that Sam would always come back to her. He waited for her to come home when she left, and he did what he had to in order to bring her, Jack and Mary home.</p><p>
  <em>So… how did it go? Staying home?</em>
</p><p>No clarification was needed but Angela could see how it was necessary for Sam to do so. It was his way of trying to check in without seeming so obvious. It wasn’t subtle, but she humored him, and it helped her too. She answered, “Just about as well as you expect. Looks of awe and nervousness since I actually flared twice today.”</p><p>
  <em>It’s okay. You were startled.</em>
</p><p>“Nice of you to say so,” Angela countered with a smile as she checked what she pulled out of the oven and placed another tray in. “But truth be told, they don’t know what to make of me. I mean I left you for weeks and then come back… different.”</p><p>
  <em>But still you. Always you.</em>
</p><p>“You are sweet. It’s why I love you.”</p><p>
  <em>And you being you is why I love you and you know I would say something if it were really bad.</em>
</p><p>“I know.” Angela finished what she was doing. She sighed contentedly and then shifted to lean on the counter. “But I can tell you that I’ve had plenty to occupy me.”</p><p>
  <em>Jess and Jack?</em>
</p><p>“They’re fine. Jess liked the outing we had.”</p><p>
  <em>Outing?</em>
</p><p>Angela knew that Sam was intrigued by her word usage. It always amused him when she used specific phrases that sounded so strange but conveyed the exact meaning. She replied, “How would you feel about Jess going out looking like a baby version of Alice in Wonderland?”</p><p>
  <em>You went trick or treating?</em>
</p><p>“I couldn’t refuse. Ayana was going and… Kira brought the twins over and Ayana had a couple of friends from school.” Angela turned to go to where she had other things laid out. “It was nice. Hibah and Jack came along. Hibah said for security and Jack… you know how Jess adores him.”</p><p>
  <em>So, I’m going to expect a ton of candy that Dean is going to gorge out on?</em>
</p><p>“Oh, the kids took it with them. It was nice though. Pretty normal compared to a ghost possessing slasher icons and comic characters to extract revenge. Not to mention you have fun putting together a door breach from scratch.”</p><p>
  <em>It was pretty cool.</em>
</p><p>“I’ll bet.”</p><p>
  <em>So, everything was okay? No troubles?</em>
</p><p>At the sound from the main room, Angela turned and couldn’t help but chuckle. She knew that this would probably have Sam and Dean flip out, but nobody was hurt, and it only involved people that knew about the bunker. She knew Sam could hear it since he asked what the noise was. She replied, “Oh, it’s a game. Bobbing for apples.”</p><p>
  <em>Seriously?</em>
</p><p>“I really couldn’t say no to the twins and Ayana got into it and… I’m really being a pushover, aren’t I?”</p><p>
  <em>No. I’m just… surprised. You’re a great mom.</em>
</p><p>“Nice save, Sam,” Angela teased. She chuckled some more as she added, “But thank you all the same.”</p><p>
  <em>And I mean every word of it. What else did you do?</em>
</p><p>“Took plenty of pictures.”</p><p>The chuckled on the other end warmed her heart. Sam knew she had a thing for pictures. She had them from almost every period in history since film was developed. There were a few times a painting was produced, and Chuck gave back the painting he had of her when she thought he was a prophet turned into writer. It was probably painful in that she was looking into a life no longer there, but for her… it reminded her of what Sam had been constantly telling her the last thirteen or so years.</p><p>Angela smiled and added, “Kira brought the Alice costume. I’ll dress Jess in it, so you can see it.”</p><p>
  <em>Deal.</em>
</p><p>“I think I might have the whole crew dress up for you. Do you think Dean would realize I’m teasing him about what happens when he’s loopy on painkillers?”</p><p>
  <em>Ah… I don’t think I want to touch that.</em>
</p><p>“Did I tell you about the strawberry thing I made?”</p><p>
  <em>Do it. Do whatever you want.</em>
</p><p>Angela laughed at Sam’s reaction. He was more likely humoring her, but he did have a weakness for the strawberry dessert she made, and they had a ‘ritual’ with it. She teased, “My big bad alpha. Don’t I know you?”</p><p>
  <em>And you hit hard, Angie. But seriously, do what you want. For Dean.</em>
</p><p>Angela nodded. She knew that the request was twofold. She was worried about Dean too and she had a feeling that Michael suddenly vacating his vessel was suspicious. She had no proof except a gut feeling and she was tired of living without her brother. “This will be fun. And I made pie to placate him afterwards.”</p><p>
  <em>Meaning you went overboard on the sweets.</em>
</p><p>“Kids in the bunker.”</p><p>
  <em>Did I tell you how much I love you?</em>
</p><p>“Every damn day.”</p><p>
  <em>Then I’ll tell you again and as many as I can on your birthday. I didn’t forget.</em>
</p><p>“You never do. I’ll see you both when you get home.”</p><p>
  <em>Alright. See you then. Always and forever.</em>
</p><p>“Always and forever.”</p><p>Angela waited until Sam hung up before hanging up her phone. She sighed in contentment. It was taking time with all the people from the other world she had saved since they had to get used to the fact that she occasionally flared out now and she thought it shocked them that she was a mother. Not only that, her baby was Sam’s, their leader’s, baby.</p><p>She did seem to be making some progress since they were actually smiling with Akira came by with the twins, anxious to see Jess. It was Akira that suggested trick or treating and a Halloween party for the kids since Kate and Ayana were there. In the end, Angela was agreeable, thinking that it was better to look at what was in front of her. For her, it was her friends and family and the next generation of people. People that needed her not as a hero of legend, but as a mother, a friend, a sister… those other things. Maybe they could show Dean that too.</p><p>It was on her mind when she picked up the tray of candied apples and entered the main area to see Hibah cheering on Jack as he bobbed for apples. She shook her head and smiled, hiding her concern. That was something to be dealt with later. Right now, … “And here is as promised. Cookies!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 14.05 Lightmare Logic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hibah and Dean take out the djinn and talk about the current situation. Tag to Nightmare Logic...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Let’s see your nightmares, sweetheart.”</p><p>Hibah narrowed her eyes as she struggled with the djinn. Its tattooed hand was heading towards her forehead and she struggled to resist. She gritted her teeth and pushed back. Her eyes glittered with the power of her angel and goddess.</p><p>At the last moment Dean moved in to help and at the precise moment the djinn touched her on her forehead. Hibah’s spare hand moved to grip Dean on the wrist in reaction as she resisted the mind pull the djinn was doing. It was painful and she couldn’t help but let her eyes flare full out as she pushed back.</p><p>The djinn thought that he was getting a treat until he saw it. He started to gasp and stutter. He saw wings and something else. It distracted him long enough for Hibah and Dean to get the upper hand. Hibah had her blood up and flipped the djinn over and used her sais to pin him to the floor. “They may not be dipped in lamb’s blood, but they hurt like a bitch.”</p><p>“You think I’m the only one? He made more of us. To hunt you. Except for the one that hunts him. The earthbound angel.”</p><p>Hibah growled at that. Just as Dean grabbed the bookend, she raised her fist and plunged it into the chest cavity while Dean bashed its head in. Hibah growled and pulled out the heart and held it. Sitting straddled on the djinn, she held it up and said, “You have been judged.”</p><p>Dean blinked as he saw the heart go up in black flames. Literal black flames. When there was nothing but ash, he said, “Wow. Remind me never to piss you off, Ninja.”</p><p>Hibah took a breath and looked at the man who helped raise her. “All hearts are judged, Amitz. Even a creature can receive the Field of Reeds. But him…” She glanced at the djinn and then at Dean. “Let’s just say that there are tainted creatures that are as dark as the darkest of human hearts.</p><p>Dean looked at the downed djinn, the bloody hole in its chest. He watched Hibah stand up and yank her choice of weapon out of the blood and swipe them to get the blood off. “You have a weird taste in weapons like Angie,” he commented.</p><p>“Ima always said that the weapon chooses you.”</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes slightly at that, “I highly doubt she said that.”</p><p>“She taught Abba alchemy magic and you herbs and medicine.” Hibah gave a pointed look at Dean. “I’ll take care of the body. We don’t need the civilian to freak out and I don’t feel like explaining that.” She gestured at the wall where there was an outline that even Dean thought was weird.</p><p>It wasn’t until they were back at the bunker that Dean sought out the first kid his brother and sister-in-law raised. She had finished seeing to Maggie and the two were chatting like two teenage girls, laughing. He watched the girl that he remembered most as a nine year old and how she used to look at him with unconditional love. Now… He did see her as an adult but still…</p><p>He left to go think and went to a favorite spot to think outside the bunker. He wanted to laugh at the irony that he was standing in the herb garden that Angela had been growing since they moved into the bunker about five or so years ago and Hibah pointed out that he knew more about it than anyone else. He shook his head in bemusement.</p><p>“Ima thought you would be best at this.”</p><p>“Well, she was right. Done my fair share of patching up and pulling a rabbit out of the hat when things were tough,” Dean replied.</p><p>“She wanted to give you something that wasn’t tied in death, but life.” Hibah looked at the man that she loved like the uncle he was.</p><p>“And Sam?”</p><p>“Helping her mate see his potential. And the good that her brother has despite what he’s done.”</p><p>Dean turned to look at Hibah. He knew that she was half angel and half goddess. The three months he, Sam and Angela spent on ‘the run’ to keep her safe from the full blooded gods and any angels that wanted to kill her, proved that. He was in the dark about her god abilities, but he knew she had angel grace and was able to do some of that angel stuff.</p><p>There was one ability he was aware of. He knew that Hibah had the ability to read the hearts of men. He knew she must have seen something when she grabbed him. It only took one touch like that supercharged djinn. He asked, “And what do you see, Ninja?”</p><p>Hibah looked at Dean with a solemn expression. She knew what he was asking and she didn’t want to say anything but when it was asked… “I saw… a man haunted by the choices he made. Many made for the good of others at the risk of his soul. Plagued by guilt for deciding on things that he knew the outcome would be shitty. A lost and broken soul.”</p><p>Dean looked downward and sighed. That he knew. It was different to have it confirmed by a goddess who could see.</p><p>“And a good man.”</p><p>Dean looked up. Hibah had taken a couple of steps closer and was standing toe to toe with him. It was almost comical since she was short and yet Dean felt like a proud parent. He could see the characteristics of her father in her and the grace and refinement from both her mothers. “Still hero worshipping me?”</p><p>“Honest truth.”</p><p>“Sam says that.”</p><p>“And they are the truth. More power in that.”</p><p>Dean hummed a bit. He then looked at the girl and said, “I saw your worst nightmare.”</p><p>“Hard not to when I practically forced that connection.”</p><p>Dean peered at the girl, “And yet you did it. Why?”</p><p>“You know, Amitz,” Hibah replied in a solemn tone. “My greatest fear is seeing you, Abba, Ima, Jack… everyone at the bunker… humanity… all dead. Michael’s vision of coming true.”</p><p>“But how could you see that?”</p><p>“Because you housed Michael.” Hibah stared hard on at Dean. “I fear Michael’s vision of this world and what happened in the other world. The emptiness… it’s terrifying. And for a being that can practically live forever…”</p><p>Dean pulled Hibah into a hug. There was nothing else he could do. He felt her arms slowly reach up and curl around his body to return it. He remembered when she used to hug him for no other reason than just because. It was like when he had to take care of Angela when she was four years old. He felt her love for him in that hug and it was… humbling.</p><p>He always used to complain at how easily Angela forgave and gave her love out. It wasn’t until later that he understood the power of unconditional love and what it truly meant. He saw it every day when Angela would smile at him and serve him her cobbler even though it wasn’t pie. When Jess just squealed like it was the best thing in the world when he walked in.</p><p>“Abba is right you know.”</p><p>Dean broke the hug. “What about?”</p><p>“That you’ll find Michael.” Hibah stepped back and looked at Dean with a wide eyed expression. “That you’ll find him and end him.”</p><p>Dean shook his head. He wanted to believe that. He tried for Sam’s sake since he knew his brother was functioning on three hour nights and being father to his daughter. He got even less when he expressed an urge to be with his mate. He turned to look up at the night sky. He could see the stars.</p><p>“A nightmare is as real as you make it, Amitz.”</p><p>Dean shifted to look at Hibah. She was looking at him much like Angela would when she was trying to say something important and she wasn’t sure how to get the point across. He looked at her and asked, “How much did you see, Ninja?”</p><p>“I see hearts, Amitz,” she replied. “I see them and I see yours. You keep putting yourself down and it hurts Ima. She sees you as I do. The nightmare comes true if you lose all hope.” She paused and shook her head slightly, “Please don’t lose it.”</p><p>Normally, Dean would have deflected, but he knew better than to deflect with a being that could see into your soul. Hibah struck at his core. She knew how he felt about the fact that Michael did what he did while riding his meat. He was sure Angela knew too which was why she fussed over him like the female alpha of, and he had to think it, a pack, or coven, or whatever.</p><p>Hibah was just reminding him. Not to torture him like blackmail, but to plead to remember what she knew. And what he remembered. He remembered when he had to help Angela put herself back together when she nearly destroyed a town trying to kill Crowley for what he did to Sam. The three states she was in, particularly hope. Remember that, he nodded. “I hear you kiddo.”</p><p>Hibah was quiet for a moment before she added, “Everything will happen in its own time.” Her eyes flickered and flared, “The protector will rise again with the warriors by her side. All will be righted.”</p><p>Dean blinked as he listened to Hibah’s words. He knew she was predicting again. He had heard it before and knew what to look for. She wasn’t saying it for his benefit. Something was coming and it would need him, Sam and Angela. And maybe the others that they brought with them. Sam would keep saying it and he did have a goal every time he looked at his niece.</p><p>Hibah blinked and shook her head. Dean knew that she never really remembered what she said when she had a vision. The best thing was to let it go unless she asked. She looked around and frowned and then looked at him asking, “Everything okay?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean answered. He frowned as usual and started walking back towards the bunker. “Come on. I know Angie has cobbler and ice cream hidden.”</p><p>“Sounds good,” Hibah agreed, going with Dean’s suggestion. She smiled as Dean pulled her into a side hug. “Though I think we should leave some for Uncle Cas and Jack.”</p><p>“I’m never gonna get used to hearing Cas being referred to like that.”</p><p>“Dad was his brother.”</p><p>“I know.” Dean grumbled slightly before teasing, “And why Jack?”</p><p>“He’s nice.”</p><p>Dean grinned. This was going to be good. His little Ninja seemed to like Jack. It was enough to lessen the load he and Sam had to carry. “Oh, he’s nice,” he began.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 14.06 Optimistic Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean knows its his fault with the way that things are now. A hunt with Jack pulls him out of it. Tag to Optimist.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Well I blame me…</em>
</p><p>It’s true. I do blame myself for the state of things as they were. I blame myself for saying yes to Michael. That in turn led to the souping up the monsters thing and I can’t remember much of a damn thing that Michael had done. Now there are monsters out there that can’t be killed in the traditional way. And because of me… Ninja did what she thought was right and that led to Angie leaving. I was the cause of Angie leaving Sam.</p><p>I know Sam would punch my lights out for saying that. He’d say that Angie didn’t leave him. It’s an attitude I would say is naïve, but in a way, he’s right. She never left him. She came back. She stayed in touch. But truth is, I am the reason she is scared; scared that our group of hunters will take it into their own hands and try to kill her no matter the fact that she is a mother and Jess and Ayana vouch for her. Because Ninja found the proof that Angie was once an angel and released it.</p><p>I admit that it was somewhat cool that she was souped up. I mean, Angie has a rep. She’s the scariest thing out there. Ask a demon and they’ll tell you. And Sam and me have seen what she has been able to do and then what she learned after she and Sam discovered the soul twin and mate bond thing. Now… seeing her hunt… I get it. I get it and I’m not letting anything happen to her. I just… I just don’t know what to do. But Jack seemed to have the right idea.</p><p>I feel bad for the kid. I mean, it’s not Jack’s fault that he is literally the son of the devil. I know I tried to kill him and said real nasty things to him but… it’s not his fault. He’s a good kid. He wants to do the right thing and I have Sam and Angie to thank for that. Sam taught him things that a father would, and it makes sense. He’s done it before with Ninja, when Angie was her mini self and now with Jess and Jack. Angie is a mother through and through. And truth be told, I am glad she is home.</p><p>Jack seems to be happy she’s home. When he saw her, there were no angry words, just relief. He saw her, and everyone went quiet. He then walked right up to her and grabbed her in a hug. It was one of those chick flick, Hallmark card moments. But it still doesn’t negate, yes, I used a big word, the fact that I was the one that messed things up. With us, it’s true. Road to damnation is paved with best intentions. I’m the damn poster boy for that one and I does have me wonder why I am here on a job with Jack.</p><p>The kid was hardly subtle about going on a job. He wanted to go and didn’t fail to point out the jobs he and Cas went on. I can’t deny that he did well on those. I just didn’t understand why he wanted to go on one with me. I mean, I was the one that said he was bad, he was dangerous and if he went dark side that I would be the one to kill him. I was rude to him and used it as an excuse to hurt Sam. Yet he still wanted to go with me and even presented his research to me.</p><p>
  <em>Take him, Dean. It’s a good learning experience.</em>
</p><p>Oh, I know what that means especially when Angie says it. She meant it as a means for me and Jack to bond. Forget the logic of having hunting partners and all that. Ever since Jack came to live with us, she had been making opportunities for all of us to bond. Even hunting was seen as that and she was sneaky about it. And the kid made the argument about needing to feel useful and making things right; things that I got.</p><p>Being with Jack on a job… my God it was like when I first took Cas on the job. I forgot that Jack really is a baby in all things human despite looking like a young adult. His honest and innocent expression came off as awkward and yet it was endearing to the tough nuts that we had to talk to. It was cute and adorable as Angie would say. It makes me wonder how she could stand it when she first met Cas. Now I get why she would occasionally call Jack her baby Cas and Jack just smiled, accepting it. No doubt she explained it to him and… I get stuck with the weird family.</p><p>Turns out the honesty and innocence really works out. At least for Jack. The kid really played the role well and got the girl Harper Sayles to talk. I didn’t appreciate the fact he called me an old man. I actually didn’t think he had it in him to call me that. And we all know for a fact that the oldest one in our crazy family is the matriarch and she merely humors us, me especially when I pull the big brother card.</p><p>I can tell ya though that like Cas, Jack’s sense of timing sucks. He tried to have me give him the talk right in the middle of a case when I found one of the girl Harper’s co-workers dead. Don’t get me wrong, any other time, I would be damned proud that the kid managed to score. Now wasn’t the time, not on a case. Well… I take that back since I have managed to score, and I know that Sam did during the year he was running around with Grandpa Samuel. So yeah, you can score, just not when a zombie is chasing after you and it didn’t help that Angie had to call right in the middle.</p><p>It’s funny when she and Sam are discussing family matters while fighting because it does end up annoying the people they are fighting. Talk about inappropriate timing and yet it works. For them at least. With me and her… I don’t know how to talk about that one.</p><p>
  <em>How’s the hunt going?</em>
</p><p>“Fine,” I tell her. Yeah right since a zombie is trying to break down the door to kill me and Jack.</p><p>
  <em>No problems?</em>
</p><p>Like I am going to tell her that I was in the middle of trying to keep a zombie from breaking in. I know she can hear what’s going on since she had super hearing. And after what Ninja did, it was ten times what I knew so I know she was hearing everything.</p><p>“Is that, Mother?”</p><p>“Mother?”</p><p>Okay, I definitely have to talk to the kid about calling Angie by her name when on a case. I know that he asked Angie to call her that and she let him. In all fairness she was the mother figure for him. She had accepted him from day one, showing no fear of him. Still…</p><p>“My mother, well… not my real mother…”</p><p>“Jack.”</p><p>I know that Jack was trying to explain things, but now wasn’t the time. We had a zombie trying to break down the door and it was the guy in the picture I saw on the end table. Turns out he’s the girl, Harper’s, boyfriend, who is now undead. The best thing for this is silver and luckily, she has some and Jack seems to carry one of Angie’s knives. No matter. It works.</p><p>Of course, I didn’t see it coming that the girl was a fricking necromancer. She was the one that made Vance undead Vance. Talk about plot twists and I’m sure that Angie would find it amusing… after she chews me out for letting Jack get in harms way. After all I did pretty much tell him to take Harper out and they went to the library where we managed to corner Vance and trap him. She got away, but we got him. The kid did good.</p><p>I have to admit that taking Jack on the hunt… not a bad thing. He’s eager to learn and he knows the pros and cons of it. He knows the pain it can bring and yet he is willing to do it. He sees it as helping people. Saving people, hunting things… the family business. That is what we do.</p><p>I know that Sam and Jack say that no one blames me or holds me responsible for what Michael did while riding around in my meat. Maybe so, but I do blame myself. I was the one that said yes after all. And yet… Jack drove the point home why we do what we do. He’s a good kid and I know I don’t show that often, but, like with Jess, he gave me a reason to see past the dark hole I feel that I am in. Even though I was adamant about hating him in the beginning, the kid grew on me. Jack is family, a part of our family and I am more determined to make this right. Not just for him… for him, Ayana and Jess.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 147.07 Unhuman Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rowena is asked to help the Winchesters with Jack and ends up thinking about her latest encounter with Angela. Tag to Unhuman Nature.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Rowena.”</p><p>The witch paused and turned to the one that uttered her name. What she saw, surprised her and made her very uncomfortable. But not uncomfortable enough to stay because Sam asked her to. Looking at the person, she replied, her brogue becoming heavy, “Don’t think you can bully me this time, Malachi.”</p><p>Angela stood there, well aware that she literally looked like hell, or as she said, like hammered shit. She had every right to be. Jack was very sick. He was sick, and she felt helpless to do anything. She felt hopeless and at the end of her rope.</p><p>She should have seen it earlier. She noticed that Jack had been coughing, but he insisted that it was a cold and the perks of being human. She took it at face value even though she sensed that there was more to it. It became clear when Jack collapsed after he and Dean came back from their hunt and was coughing out blood.</p><p>Castiel tried to use his powers but to no avail. So, they took Jack to the hospital, but even that was to no avail. What was happening was not something modern medicine could fix. At least nothing doctors could understand. The boys stumbled on giving the vitals until she stepped in and gave Jack a name and a birthday, truly making him hers… and Sam’s.</p><p>It was Sam’s idea to contact Rowena. Angela wasn’t fond of the idea, but she knew that they were out of options. Besides, she knew that Rowena knew things and had the book of the damned with her. While they may have some animosity, it was somewhat like a love-hate relationship; weird to everyone except maybe Sam.</p><p>Angela knew that Sam had been misleading to get Rowena there. Lying never helped anyone. She had proof of that when she nearly wrecked things between her and Sam and proof of what the brothers did to each other. And it threatened a chance for Jack when Rowena said that it was better that Jack died being the son of Lucifer. That did it.</p><p>Angela chased after the witch, aware that Sam was following. She got ahead of him and staved him off to speak to the witch. She now had her attention and stood there looking at Rowena. She replied, “I am not going to bully you, Rowena.”</p><p>“Oh, then what do you intend to do, Malachi?”</p><p>“Please don’t call me that,” Angela replied in a low voice as she looked away and at the ground.</p><p>“And why should I not call you by name? Or would you rather I call you murderer?”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” Angela replied, not looking at Rowena. “I’ve been called it all. Since the day I was first unleashed to hunt the supernatural.” She then looked up to look at the witch.</p><p>Rowena knew that Angela wasn’t one to be trifled with. She had seen it and heard of it; the earthbound angel that protected humanity, the hunter of the night, or the moon… Everything she knew was of a woman who knew how to fight down to the last breath. Looking at her now… she was seeing the fight in her eyes, but she saw something else. She gave a smirk and countered, “And what do you come before me as?”</p><p>“As a mother.” Angela stared at Rowena, her gaze unwavering.</p><p>The answer surprised Rowena but not by much. After all she was aware that Angela had given birth to a baby girl and had seen the woman pregnant. She smirked and countered, “And you think that by saying that we are on familiar ground? How low you have sunk.”</p><p>Angela knew that the witch was going to make it difficult and she could sense Sam’s uneasiness since they both could erupt in a fit of temper. She had no problem going against Rowena since she had gone against witches before, some more powerful that Rowena. But she wasn’t going to start something. Not in her home. Not while she had a sick child. She felt her throat convulse because her emotions were shot and it felt like Rowena was belittling the idea that she was a mother and struggled to keep her voice steady as she replied, “And I will sink as low as I can. If it means that it will help my boy.”</p><p>“Your boy?” Rowena glanced at Sam and then at Angela. “Don’t tell me you decided to get…” She turned away disgusted at the idea.</p><p>“Do not mock me, Rowena,” Angela replied looking downward, trying not to get angry but hurting all the same. “I can claim anyone as my own. You know this by laws of the Old Religion and millennia of instinct.”</p><p>“Then you are foolish,” Rowena spat as she leaned forward. “Foolish and stupid. You never could leave well enough alone and now you are asking me for help?”</p><p>“I am asking you to help me… us… save the boy I claimed as mine.” Angela looked up and stared at the witch. “He is dying.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Angela pursed her lips as she took several calming breaths. Her breath felt shaky since she was on the verge of bursting into tears. She closed her eyes as she took a couple of breaths. When she opened them, her eyes were moist and a tear started to fall as she answered, “I can’t lose another child. Especially not one of my own.”</p><p>“He’s not yours,” Rowena retorted.</p><p>Angela would have said something but she paused. She tilted her head and shifted to see that Jack had gotten up. She knew that Rowena had been distracted and she took the moment to wipe the tears from her eyes. She knew Sam was going nuts since he never liked it when she cried and he beat himself up to make himself feel worthless if he was the cause of it.</p><p>“I know that Angela,” Jack said as he tried to hold himself steady, “is not my real mother. But… she had raised me with Sam, Dean and Castiel. She has been my mother…”</p><p>In the end Rowena caved, surprised that Jack was not a monster as she had envisioned. And he was endeared to her even though she didn’t want to admit it. Certainly Angela didn’t say anything. Rather the woman said nothing. It was like she knew that Rowena wasn’t doing this for her or the Winchesters and she didn’t have to make it clear.</p><p>It was like Angela wanted Rowena to lay out the harsh truth like she already knew it. Then again, Rowena supposed, Angela would know the perils of being a Halfling since she was one herself. Not only that, but the most powerful one in existence since she was once supposedly an angel. According to the time when she spoke with Chuck or God.</p><p>It was funny how humans said half breeds were stronger than purebreds. In this case though, it seemed the opposite. At least with the fact that it was Jack’s grace that was holding him together. Now that the balance was disrupted, the result was his cells basically eating him and killing him. Rowena couldn’t help but watch how Angela seemed so calm with all that information and it occurred to her that she suspected or knew it.</p><p>There was a chance with one of Ketch’s old contacts, a shaman of sorts. Rowena couldn’t help but notice that Angela quietly accepted the idea even though it was clear she didn’t like the idea. It baffled the witch and at first she was inclined to think it was an act. As she watched the woman move about the bunker almost listlessly while Jack spent time with Dean and she took care of the bunker, Rowena saw that she was really affected and worried that she was going to lose Jack. She was being a mother and it made Rowena regret some of the things she said.</p><p>They tried the shaman’s suggestion using a bit of Gabriel’s grace. In the end, it did nothing. While it seemed to revive Jack, ultimately the boy collapsed. It was inevitable. Jack was dying and there was nothing they could do. Rowena had to be the one to be the bearer of bad news and she didn’t like it. It was clear that everyone there loved Jack and they were going to lose him. She even heard the wee baby start to cry.</p><p>She had to leave. She couldn’t bear to see them like this. She had to leave and grieve. She knew what they would be going through. She sniffed as she heading to the stairs leading out.</p><p>“Rowena.”</p><p>Rowena paused and turned. It surprised her to see Angela standing there. She assumed that the woman would want to be with Jack. It surprised her even more when Angela walked straight up to her until they were standing toe to toe and pulled her into a hug. She was so surprised that she couldn’t utter a word since she never expected it.</p><p>Rowena blinked, not sure of how to react. She eyed the woman hugging her when she stepped back and moved her head close. Rowena wasn’t sure what was going on until Angela gave a gentle peck on her forehead.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Rowena blinked as she realized what Angela had done. Her mouth hung open as Angela stepped back to give her some space. There was a pensive look on the woman’s face as she stepped back. Rowena stood there as the silence gripped them for a minute or two. Finally, she said, “Well don’t expect this to change anything.”</p><p>“I don’t.”</p><p>Rowena looked at Angela and for the first time she saw a look of understanding. They didn’t agree on all things and at one point they tried to kill each other when they were enemies. Yet at this moment, Rowena felt something akin to friendship and she was certain Angela did to. She stammered, “Well… just… just be with the boy.”</p><p>“My intention.”</p><p>Rowena nodded, not being able to stand it and started up the stairs. She felt that the other woman’s eyes were upon her. Once she was at the top, she turned to see Angela’s gaze had followed her up. It was like she was wishing her a farewell. Rowena leaned over to look down at her and stared at her before turning away to leave.</p><p>When Rowena first came into the lives of the Winchesters, she was bent on making it hell. Over the past few years, working with/against her son Fergus; she really hated the name Crowley, then helping Dean get rid of the Mark… It culminated to the fact that she knew her fate. Sam was the one to kill her and yet he had hope that she could lead a better life. With Angela, the Malachi, she saw many facets and heard stories yet the one that would stay with her always was the one that looked at her when she left. It was most unhuman and yet she liked it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 14.08 Light Byzantium</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel has some thoughts about his favorite charge and their rescue of Jack. Tag to Byzantium.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In all the millennia I have been in existence, I have never had… a closeness like I have with the Winchesters and most especially my charge, my reincarnated sister, the earthbound angel. Her original name was Israfel. Yes, it is like the poem that is written and I am aware that it was changed to be a man in the poem. Strange humans stuck in patriarchy.</p><p>She does not remember and nor does she care to. I don’t blame her since it would be and is one more burden on her shoulders. It is why I and my brothers and sisters had to pretend not to know her in that manner. Uriel couldn’t resist and would taunt her. Gabriel… always looked after her like a brother. Things changed though when Gabriel’s daughter found the fallen grace and set it free. It was best intentions.</p><p>Best intentions.</p><p>The phrase about the road to perdition is paved of these best intentions. I’ve seen it time and again with the Winchesters and my sister. Their main motivation though has always been family.</p><p>Family.</p><p>That I was familiar with but it was completely foreign to me. Before taking guardianship over my sister, I didn’t understand the depth of it, citing that it was too human. Of course, being with the Winchesters taught me more and how complicated things could get. Well, how complicated humans could make it. When I was human, I started to understand and in the end, we were family. It was my reason for killing Billie when she was a reaper and breaking the blood oath. I am willing to pay that price as I am willing to pay what I had to do to get the Empty to leave Jack alone.</p><p>Never had I experienced such pain except the time the veil itself had nearly been ripped. When she cried out in pain because Sam was dead. Even before they knew it, they were bonded and could feel it. With Jack… I understood. It was like something was ripped from me and there was nothing to repair it. I felt all of their pain. A given with my sister since I am still her guardian, but the Winchesters…</p><p>I was helpless to do anything to save the boy I promised his mother to keep safe. It made me doubt the promise I made to keep the little one that lit up like a light whenever anyone in her family walked through the door. We were all in a bad place until Lily Sunder came in with an answer. One too good to be true but willing to take a chance.</p><p>Things didn’t go well at first after Anubis was summoned. I admit it was rather strange to see my sister and him talk like there was nothing serious going on. But I knew that as the earthbound angel, she had been adopted by the warrior royalty and the Egyptian pantheon. More proof at how… personable she is. It is because of that, she was able to convince Lily to help and we were on our way to find Jack in heaven.</p><p>I was against her going. It was more along the lines of her being a mother; that she would want to be with Jack. She refused to stay behind and Sam wasn’t going to make her and it was made clear when she forced her spirit out of her body and started leaving the bunker. Eventually, I saw the wisdom in that.</p><p>Naomi was waiting for us in heaven, but we weren’t there to fight. I know Naomi wanted to jump start our sister’s memories, force her to remember rather than have her blunder about. I wouldn’t let that happen and I know <em>she</em> would definitely be against it. The desire was still there when we stood face to face and Naomi spoke to her in the familiar tones my brethren liked to use with her and just had to ask the question.</p><p>The question was what was one life worth over the forty billion souls in heaven. It was a low blow to ask that of her. We all knew that she cared about humanity. It made me feel infuriated that Naomi was belittling her for making a selfish choice; for making a decision for her instead of the greater good. I didn’t want to fight but I was willing to. Thankfully, it didn’t come to take.</p><p>She always knew how to talk to my brethren. Most would say that she was foolish. I knew better. I saw her fight one of my brother and beat him to a pulp as Dean would say. She may be the earthbound angel with no memory of who she was, but she still was a tough ass woman. Standing, there I could tell she had little patience for Naomi and showed it by pressing forward. I didn’t even think about Naomi’s question. All that mattered was Jack.</p><p>It was like coming alive when we found Jack. We found him in his mother’s version of heaven. I couldn’t help but hug the boy. Just seeing him again… It distracted me a little from the manner in how Kelly greeted her. It was one of those things that I couldn’t understand and in the end, I decided that it had to do with the fact that they were both mothers. I didn’t forget how they first met when Daegon was in the picture and I was aware that she helped Kelly during the birth. I don’t understand and probably won’t ever.</p><p>We knew that something had invaded heaven. It was what called us there and Naomi told us it was the Shadow or the Empty. What I didn’t know was that it decided to possess Dumah. It knew we were looking for Jack and took the opportunity. It wanted Jack. It was reacting to the angel half and that was why it came for him. The Empty was the place where angels went when they die. I went there when Lucifer killed me. I wasn’t about to let it take Jack and neither was she.</p><p>I think it surprised the Empty how resilient my sister is especially when she is protecting important to her. I was amazed that she used the magic she had learned all the centuries she lived in this incarnation in the form she was in. I was even more surprised when I saw them. The shadowy outline that spoke of what she once was and is to the people that knew her. But I was also afraid.</p><p>The Empty is where the angels went to die. Seeing the shadow from my sister, I knew the empty would come for her. The fallen grace is enough to identify her even though she doesn’t have all the qualities. I couldn’t let that happen. Not to her and not to Jack. So I offered myself. I am what the Empty actually wants since I was the one that left its clutches.</p><p>I know that it is not something she wants. I can feel it, sense it in our bond. I know Jack is angry too. The truth is that I love them. Jack is like a son. Sam and Dean love him in the same manner. I know she loves him. Has since day one. No fear. Just love. It makes me ready to accept my fate. That the Empty will come when I am at my most happy.</p><p>She knows the repercussions of my decision. We got Jack back and I am happy, but she and I both know the costs. She may not agree, but she still loves me the same. I didn’t and couldn’t ask her not to speak to Sam about this. Too many lies and misunderstandings are embedded in the road that led to where they are in there relationship. I won’t be the one to add to it even though she says I already did by making her worry more about me.</p><p>Israfel is said to be a beautiful angel, a master of music. Her song sings praises to God in thousands of languages and is used to inject life into others. Even after our Father sent her and her twin to live as mortals after the imprisonment of Darkness, she still lives up to her name. Her songs are the deeds she had done for people; she is the protector and it encourages others to do the same and add to it. She has gone by many names and has seen the workings of the world over and over and she still gives freely her selfless love.</p><p>It is why I know it will be okay. I know she will be okay especially with her family. My sister, the earthbound angel, the Malachi of Absolution…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 14.09 Spear of the Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The general is being herself as it looks as if Angela suspected Michael was up to something more than what appeared and made her own plans. Tag to the Spear.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I think you’re being premature.”</p><p>Sam didn’t look up since he knew who it was and instead focused on checking on Jack. They had a plan to get Michael before he unleashed his supercharged monster army on the people. The plan was to get the spear from dark Kaia and the egg they used on Lucifer when he decided to hijack the president. The goal was to come on both sides to kill Michael.</p><p>He had failed to get the egg and Jack had been taken. He got Jack back and he found out that longtime friend and fellow hunter Garth had been made into a super werewolf. The guilt pained him since he begged Garth out of retirement to help them. Dean managed to get the spear, but they were outgunned from the start.</p><p>Panting after being released from Michael’s hold, Sam glanced over to see Dean on the ground, trying to breathe after being in a chokehold. Castiel was down from injuries. It was then that Sam caught a glimpse of a pair of boots coming in his line of sight along with several sets of paws. He blinked and couldn’t help but hiss low, “Angie.”</p><p>Angela knew it was always better to be late than never. When it came to matters of the supernatural where the fate of the world was in play, you did everything you could within reason. Sometimes it took a little longer than others. She knew she was arriving rather late to the party, but she had to check in on something. Now, she was standing there, looking at Michael.</p><p>Sam long got over how intimidating she could be when she was in battle mode. He had watched her enough in a fight to know when she was going to go in for the kill. She was determined to get to Michael and ready to kill.</p><p>Michael looked at the newcomer with a raised brow. Slowly he grinned and paced in front of her. “Israfel.”</p><p>Angela had pulled out Absolution and it had taken the form of the twin blades. Sam knew that Absolution had evolved beyond the blade he once knew it to be. It was to be the blade of the angel that once wielded it and they would know how to make it visible. He watched as she twirled them saying, “Michael.”</p><p>Michael merely smirked, “Good.”</p><p>It was quick and one of those things that belonged in the movies. Angela moved to counter Michael’s strikes while defending against his blows. Sam winced when Michael gave a particularly hard blow to Angela’s body and she countered with one that was equally hard. He knew it took a lot of strength to give injuries that would leave a mark. It took a car slamming into her hand to break a couple of bones in it and she broke a couple of ribs fighting a half god. He only heard stories about her beating the crap out of an archangel and believed that she could.</p><p>Angela took a swipe with Absolution and backed into a defensive position and said in Enochian, “You are betraying Father by harming the humans.”</p><p>Michael replied in Enochian before delivering a powerful kick, “You betrayed us by siding with them. They are weak and insignificant.”</p><p>Angela hit the wall, creating a sizeable dent. She landed on the floor on one knee panting heavily. She looked at Michael and her eyes flared, and a low growl emanated from her throat. “They are not weak.”</p><p>Sam wanted to say something. Jack didn’t know the full extent of the effects of Angela’s fallen grace on her person. Dean knew to a degree. Sam knew and knew that there were some things that hadn’t been discovered yet. He looked at his brother as Dean struggled to get to his feet. He then looked at the spear and then at Angela.</p><p>Angela sprung forward with a growl, leaving Absolution embedded in the floor and grappled with Michael. They squared off and started throwing punches and kicks until Michael got the upper hand and managed to get his hand around her throat and lifted her off her feet. Sam’s eyes were wide open as he faced the possibility of actually losing his wife as Michael glared at her and said in Enochian, “Now, I will kill you as I did before.”</p><p>Before Michael could make good on his threat, Dean had managed to get to his feet and grab the spear.  Sam watched his brother jump into the fight, but he noticed that Angela looked grim. It was the kind of look that she got if something unexpected, no something she didn’t want to happen, and it did. It was the look that said she knew something more was going on.</p><p>They never had many secrets. After all these years, it was a hard learned lesson that they never benefited anyone, and it had led to more near wreckings of their relationship. Yet Sam knew that he didn’t know everything about her. He understood that five hundred plus years’ worth of memories and habits were not an easy thing to change and he was patient about it. She kept her promises and mentioned it when it was relevant and when it was too much for her to keep to herself. Sometimes she told him flat out.</p><p>But she was also a tactician. She was a warrior down to her very bones. It didn’t matter that she, and him, were reincarnated angels with a soul. It was who she was. When planning against an attack, she calculated like the most well versed veteran soldier in history. And she met a few of them too. He knew the value of keeping some knowledge a secret. He always suspected that she was suspicious of something when she came back. He just didn’t know what. Now, he sensed that this was the thing she was worried about.</p><p>Angela had joined Dean using her hands and feet to fight Michael. Dean had managed to slice Michael with the spear and Sam could sense that he was getting a second wind because he landed a blow. Anyone would who had come out bloodied from a fight with an angel. Angela had taken the opportunity to charge in, her hands glowing and Sam could recognize the transmutation circles common in alchemy magic.</p><p>“Alchemy,” Michael said with a nod.</p><p>“With a twist,” Angela said as she maneuvered her hands and landed a glancing blow, but it was clear that it hurt Michael as he stepped back looking in shock and pain.</p><p>It had allowed Dean to get in with the spear. He shoved it forward until it was just under Michael’s chin. To Sam it looked like it was going to do the trick, that Dean would kill Michael. But Dean didn’t move. He hesitated and it cost him.</p><p>Sam felt hope being dashed to the ground when Dean broke the spear. It almost crushed him when his brother turned, and it showed that Michael was in control. Angela wasn’t showing any emotion, but Sam could feel her pain. Even after all these years of learning to cope with the soul bond they shared, some things still leaked through. She was in pain. It was the pain of loss, but he also sensed anger. It was small, but he sensed that it would turn into a maelstrom if left unchecked.</p><p>“Dean was… resisting me. He was too attached to you, to all of you. Especially you, Israfel. He wouldn’t stop squirming, to get out, to get back. So, I left… but not without leaving the door open… just a crack.”</p><p>Sam absorbed the words that Michael was saying. He knew the answer to the question burning in his mind as Castiel asked out loud, “Why wait?”</p><p>Michael looked at them. The once charming grin that often had Angela smile and tease him looked dark and menacing as he replied, “To break him, to crush and disappoint him o completely that, this time, he’ll be nice and quiet for a change. Buried. And his. He’s gone.”</p><p>Sam felt the rise in anger and automatically reached out and grabbed Angela’s jacket sleeve. She had summoned Absolution to her side, and it shifted back into its single blade form that he remembered when she killed the dragons. He swallowed slightly when Michael chuckled cruelly at them.</p><p>“How amusing, Israfel,” Michael mocked, “You have always sided with these pitiful weaklings in my world. And in this one… you are the same. Weak.”</p><p>Angela stared at Michael before replying, “And hubris was always the same for you. A pity that when this is over you will be ended.”</p><p>Michael chuckled at her, “I don’t think so. Not when I have you where I want you, sister.” He picked up the tumbler of whiskey and took a drink. Once he set it down, he continued, “And now… I have a whole army out there waiting for my command. Ready… for this.” He held up his hand.</p><p>Sam recognized that gesture so well. He had seen it plenty of times when the idea of angels was really was driven home. He realized what was happening and put it together after Garth attacked him but against his own free will.</p><p>“That is where you are mistaken, Michael,” Angela said. She was staring at Michael with a look.</p><p>Sam could see the determination, the fight in her eye as well as regret and sorrow. She hadn’t wanted it to come to this. He glanced between them as Angela raised Absolution and pointed it at Michael. Sam caught his breath when Michael snapped his fingers.</p><p>“Hujum!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 14.10 Existentialistic Nihilism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jack watches as Sam and Castiel try to rescue Dean and ends up getting a surprise or two from Angela. Tag to Nihilism.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“But inside, he was glad you were gone.”</p><p>“And you sound just like the other Michael I know. Full of piss and wind.”</p><p>Jack blinked as he looked at the woman that he called mother enter and came to stand in front of Michael. It was hard seeing the archangel inhabit the man that raised and looked after him. He was smiling but it wasn’t Dean Winchester. And he didn’t want to believe that Dean was glad that he had been dead.</p><p>“And you,” Michael was saying looking at the newcomer, “Oh he has hated you for years. Been waiting for you to make a mistake so he could… gank your ass. Waited to drop the ax when you truly leave him and Sam behind.”</p><p>Jack looked at his adoptive mother. Angela had always maintained a gentle and loving countenance when they were together. He knew that it was genuine, and her love existed in many forms. It was in how she cared for their family, when she fought for them and the love she showed for people in general. He couldn’t believe that Dean would hate her.</p><p>Looking at her, Jack was puzzled at the way she was staring at Michael. Like she was trying to convince herself that while it looked like Dean, it wasn’t, but that wasn’t right. Sam and Castiel had let the words flow over them and it stood to be that she did the same. She did stand up to the archangel and issued the challenge, calling on the army that had been built before he was born and maintained by the most trusted friend, the Avian, Kesset.</p><p>“And what does it all mean?” Angela had stepped closer and leaned forward to stare at Michael in the eye. “What does any of this mean?”</p><p>Jack was young and still learning things. Sam did his best to explain human nuances to him and Castiel and Dean did their parts, but Sam was the one that directed Jack to understanding how his adoptive mother thought. He knew that she was unconventional in convincing people. Sam called it a tactician’s mind. Castiel said it was mind games. To Jack, it was merely how his adoptive mother was.</p><p>“Still playing your little mind games, Israfel.”</p><p>Jack blinked at that. That was the second time that Michael had called her that. Castiel had explained that Angela had been known by many names because of the long life she had lived before she met the Winchesters. It was not uncommon for someone to address her by another name, especially if she had crossed them before. Yet, that name was different. It had caused even Sam to flinch slightly, like it was ruining something good. He sensed that to Sam it was and how Michael was using it…</p><p>Jack knew that Angela was a reincarnated angel as well as Sam because of the connection between their souls. Sam tried explaining it as best as he could and it was confusing, but it helped Jack understand why they were cautious about introducing Jess to people. It baffled him that Angela made no effort to hide the baby when they were looking for Michael and he found it strange that Michael hadn’t mentioned going after the baby.</p><p>“Oh, they aren’t mind games,” Angela replied, “Just trying to understand why a nihilistic archangel is throwing an unnecessary temper tantrum. Makes me wonder why God created you in the first place.”</p><p>“God left. You know that.”</p><p>Angela stared at Michael for the longest time. Jack thought that she was trying to read his mind or try to break in to free Dean. She studied the archangel inquisitively, “Oh I know. He left the world in the hands of the Winchesters and you know the story of the Malachi of Absolution, but I forgot… Your worthless hide can’t see past your nose.” She ended up deadpanning the last sentence.</p><p>“Worthless? Me?” Michael looked at Angela like she was delusional. “You’re the one that was worthless.”</p><p>“And yet I have an army that is killing your supercharged monsters as we speak,” Angela replied with a puzzled frown. “One that has been called time and again throughout millennia.”</p><p>Michael stared at her before smirking, “No. You can’t possibly have that many.”</p><p>“Do you want to test me?” Angela had leaned in closer. “Or are you proving to be the coward that you are?”</p><p>Jack watched as he could see Michael getting angry at her. He was concerned that the chains wouldn’t hold Michael even with Bobby’s improvements. Looking at his adoptive mother, it seemed clear that she was. If this was her mind games, it was dangerous. He wanted to say something but by that time Sam and Castiel had come in with a machine that Sam was going to use to get inside Dean’s head.</p><p>Michael went back to smirking. Jack narrowed his eyes as he watched him as the archangel observed Sam and Angela together. Jack had observed enough times to know that they didn’t always verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Most of the time it was like they would stare and then nod. Other times it was sounds like whimpers and growls and mostly from Angela. Jack always liked the affection that they showed because it was the same but in a different form when extended to him.</p><p>“How nice it must be to not have to say everything you want to say when you’re a mated pair,” Michael was saying. “Tell me, you do the same for Jess?”</p><p>Jack felt ready to jump in and punch the archangel and knew Sam was probably feeling the same way along with Castiel. Angela probably did, but it didn’t show, and Jack took his cue from her despite his anger showing on his face. It prompted Michael to taunt, “And there is Israfel’s manipulation. She’s got you whipped.”</p><p>“Reason instead of your boring blathering,” Angela countered in a bored tone.</p><p>It clearly had the effect she intended as Jack watched the surprised look from the lack of response. Everyone calmed down and Sam flipped the switch to delve into Dean’s mind leaving Jack with Angela. Once they were alone, Jack asked, “Why?”</p><p>“Why what, Jack?” Angela looked at him.</p><p>“Why did you speak to Michael like that?”</p><p>Angela seemed to think about things for a time, trying to come up with the best way to explain. Finally, she said, “I was raised in a time when you learned to say one thing and mean another. I was taught to use it when engaging in battle. Sam may have mentioned that I have a tactician’s mind and… I do. I can strategize and react based on observation.”</p><p>“But it was like you wanted him to break the chains,” Jack frowned in puzzlement.</p><p>“People can say something and not mean it when they are pleasant and can try to hide it,” Angela replied as she walked through the bunker, checking the locks and security. “True honesty often comes when the barriers are down. Usually in anger or in extreme sorrow. The Michael of this world never liked me, and it stood to be that Apocalypse world Michael would be the same.”</p><p>Jack thought about it for a moment and then asked, “So… you were trying to find out what kind of person this Michael is and what his plans are?”</p><p>Angela gave a slight smile, “Simple but the gist.” She gave an affectionate ruffle of Jack’s hair. She then sighed, “But it’s complicated. Sam and Cas are walking into a battle that… It can be hard.”</p><p>Jack frowned, worried, “You don’t think he can get Dean back?”</p><p>“Oh, I believe they can,” Angela countered. She looked at Jack and studied him.</p><p>Jack found that she had been doing that a lot. Ever since he came back to life, she always looked at him as if to see if he was really there. Sometimes she would pat his shoulder or ruffle his hair or just hug him for no reason. She had done the same to Dean when Michael left him. He prompted, “Mother?”</p><p>Angela shook her head like she had been in a trance and smiled at him. She ran her fingers through his hair. “Meaning and purpose is found in our experiences and how we live our lives with our choices. Sometimes they don’t always turn out well. Then we have to live with them. Some people find focus and purpose in darkness, trauma, and it can make them stronger. In the light, it can be even stronger.”</p><p>Jack was puzzled by it and let it go. He would think on it and maybe ask Castiel later. Right now, he had to focus on making sure everything was fine. He made rounds of the bunker mostly to check in on Hibah and Jess before coming back around to find Angela staring at the entrance to the bunker.</p><p>He didn’t have long to wonder when Maggie and the other hunters came in saying that they were just ahead of Michael’s monsters. Jack knew that Angela wasn’t lying about her army. It existed, but neither he nor the Winchesters or even Castiel knew the exact numbers. Only that it was authorized by the godly beings and was under the command of the one who was the earthbound angel. They would help keep the people safe. They just had to worry about the ones that were heading to the bunker.</p><p>“Don’t worry Jack,” Angela said as she kept staring, “There is always someone who will defend the ones they love.” She turned and gave him a slight smile of encouragement. “Just trust me.”</p><p>Jack nodded, not fully understanding why she said that. He trusted her implicitly. She had never lied to him and tried to explain the best she could. He didn’t always understand her actions, but he trusted in her care for him and for their family. Sam did the same thing, which was why he let her go when Dean had first been taken by Michael.</p><p>The growl caught Angela’s attention when she locked her gaze on one of the hunters. Jack knew that she had been prone to vamping out mostly when she was startled. Most of the hunters had learned to ignore it. Now that she was deliberately doing it at a hunter, they were all tense and ready to react until the hunter she was staring and growling at revealed that he had been turned and had let the horde of monsters in.</p><p>Jack stayed back to watch over Sam and Castiel. It occurred to him that if they died here, they would be lost forever, and he didn’t want that. He stood back and watched as Angela charged forward, managing to avoid the bullets. He knew she had been changed when Hibah did what she did, but he had never seen the results of that. Now he was as she moved to fight and protect the other hunters.</p><p>It wasn’t enough as he watched as a couple grabbed her from behind and started ganging up on her. Jack knew that they couldn’t turn her, and she could get bitten and scratched without much problem, but they could hurt her, like they were doing to the others. He looked at the other hunters as they were getting beaten. He felt helpless and yet, he knew there was a way.</p><p>He snapped when he saw one of the monsters head in the direction where the baby was. His eyes widened just as Angela’s eyes flared and she shouted something. At the same time, he raised his hand and shouted, “No!”</p><p>It was a risk and he had to. Even though it would burn off a part of his soul, he had to do something. He tapped into his abilities and almost didn’t realize that someone had clamped a hand on his shoulder. When the monsters were gone, he turned and his eyes widened, “Sam?”</p><p>“Close, but not exactly.”</p><p>Jack shifted to see that Sam was still attached to the machine with Castiel. He looked at the Sam standing before him and took a step back. He frowned, “But… how?”</p><p>The Sam standing in front of him gave a smile, “Let’s just say that there is always someone looking out for the ones they love.” He glanced behind Jack and his smile deepened.</p><p>Jack shifted to see Angela standing there looking at Sam with a knowing look. He was still frowning, “Is this… that soul thing Sam was telling me about?”</p><p>“Pretty much,” Sam replied. He sobered and continued, “Jack, what you did, I thank you, but don’t do that again.”</p><p>“I had to. Jess…”</p><p>“Is fine. She was never in danger,” Sam reassured. He grinned, “There is always a plan.”</p><p>Jack nodded at that. He looked at Angela who was looking at Sam. He looked back. “And Sam? In Dean’s head?”</p><p>“I’m thinking that someone is there to help.” Sam shared a look with Angela before looking back at Jack. “Everything will be fine, Jack. There is meaning in everything.”</p><p>Before Jack could say anything, the Sam was gone. He saw the real Sam still there and then turned to look at Angela. She had come up to him and was checking him over. “Mother?”</p><p>“Don’t ever do that again,” she said as she hugged him tightly. She whispered, “I can’t lose you again.”</p><p>Jack wrapped his arms around her, not caring that the other hunters were watching. “I’m sorry,” he whispered back.</p><p>“It’s time I teach you alchemy magic.”</p><p>Jack watched as she released him and walked away. More likely to check on Jess. He blinked at the abruptness of her words and initially it hurt. It passed though. He had scared her. Scared her enough that she felt she had to do something about it. He did do something foolish, using his soul to fuel his powers. He had good reasons, but he sensed that this was one of those choices that was going to bring down a lecture.</p><p>He didn’t regret what he did. He would do anything to protect his family, but he was starting to understand what Sam, Dean and Angela went through when faced with the choices they had. He also could see that for the most part, while there was some guilt, there were no regrets. When he was dying, every moment spent with Dean, meant everything and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 14.11 Light's Damaged Goods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angela is peeved at this latest secret and lets it all out and still manages to give Dean some hope. Tag to Damaged Goods.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>There is one way that this can end. It is different than the others.</em>
</p><p>Angela stood there looking at Dean as he explained the plan. Her lip was twitching in anger as she crossed her arms over her chest. She could feel the pain and anguish of both brothers. Dean was feeling like he was on his last rope and Sam… She ground her teeth as she narrowed her eyes.</p><p>She didn’t need to hear Dean’s explanation. Billie did the courtesy of that when she paid her a visit as she was putting the baby to bed. It wasn’t a friendly conversation and it wasn’t ever going to be. She and Death tangled one too many times and it didn’t matter which incarnation. There was no way to believe that this was it.</p><p>“Billie said that there’s only one way that this ends right.”</p><p>Angela couldn’t stand it. She was so angry that it was scary. She took her fist and slammed it against the support beam. The pulse shimmered down and it could be felt under their feet and no doubt things were rattling in the cabin. The metal of the Ma’lak box shuddered from the sheer force. It was a wonder the support beam didn’t shatter.</p><p>That didn’t matter since she had both Winchester’s attention. She glared at both of them. Her breathing was heavy, her pent up rage spent. But she was still angry.</p><p>Dean looked at her, “What the hell? You trying to ruin things before they’re started?” He looked at her with a bewildered expression mingled with anger.</p><p>“Don’t you say another word,” Angela held up her finger in warning, her glare firm on Dean.</p><p>Dean closed his mouth but he returned the glare back. He glanced over at Sam who was looking just as bewildered but like a wounded and understanding puppy. Usually Sam was the one calming his mate down before things got ugly. Not this time.</p><p>“Angie,” Sam breathed, softly and plaintively.</p><p>“Sam, don’t.” Angela didn’t take her gaze off Dean but her tone softened when she spoke to Sam. She was angry yes about a lot of things. “I’m okay.”</p><p>To Dean it didn’t look like it and was shocked that Sam was letting it go. Then he remembered that Sam could feel the stronger emotions from her and occasionally a thought. He even understood her grunts and growls. But Sam always spoke his mind. This time it was different and Dean sensed that he was not just going to have their usual heart to hearts. He had to try, “Angie, don’t…”</p><p>Angela growled at Dean. A first and it surprised her, but the kid gloves were off. “You don’t talk. You listen. Both of you.” She gestured at the both of them. When she was satisfied that she had their complete attention, she continued, “I’ve been watching over the both of you since you were in diapers. I’ve been the one that came when no other recourse was had. Had I not, Dean, you would have died from pneumonia at the age of three and Sam… pertussis. You both got hit with the worst strains ever. I came, did what I could and left you be and things happened as they did.</p><p>“You both know that I believe in free will and choices and to contradict myself I understand that there are some things that can’t be changed. The endgame is the same but the road to get there is different or the road to get there is the same but the endgame is different. I know because I’ve done it time and time again.</p><p>“You think I wanted to be Absolution? That fate was decided for me and I still fought against it because I saw what it was doing and still is doing. I knew about Billie’s visit, Dean. She spilled the beans when she came to me. Believe me I want nothing more to do that just stab her in the face. Felt that way about the previous incarnation too.”</p><p>Dean made a slight face at that. At the same time a small chuckle came out. He stopped when Angela turned her gaze on him. He knew she was pissed and he wasn’t going to exacerbate the situation anymore. He gave a silent apology.</p><p>Angela stared at Dean for a moment before continuing, “We have been together, thirteen years, give or take a few hundred… We’ve been together through thick and thin. I’ve seen the results of choices made in desperation because you’re brothers… family. The worst were when you tried to hide it from each other.” She looked at them pointedly and made a slight face, “And I know I’m not one to judge.”</p><p>“If it’s me, you do,” Sam’s gentle timbre gave a soft reply.</p><p>“No I’m not,” she replied as she shook her head. “You two… hiding things never works out. I don’t have to be an empath and mated to Sam to know that he is hurt and betrayed. I’ve been on both sides of that fence.”</p><p>Dean swallowed slightly as she approached the box. He was afraid that she was going to break it, ruin all the hard work he had done. She could do it if only to prove a point. He didn’t want her fighting another worthless battle. Not when there were three people in her life that needed her the most. Her kids and Sam.</p><p>Angela studied Dean’s reaction as she approached the box. She put a hand on it and looked at the markings. She ran her hand on it. “You did no one any favors by trying to hide this, Dean,” she said, not looking at him. “And while the excuse is that Sam would be the only one to convince you not to go through with it is good, it’s a poor reason. And you weren’t even going to say goodbye to Jess.” She looked up and stared at Dean. She took a step back. “Secrets are selfish. It’s in their very nature. Haven’t we all been through enough?”</p><p>It seemed safe to say something since Dean sensed the tension releasing little by little. He knew that this outburst was deep seated for her. He knew she would never voice her feelings verbally. Show maybe like the cold shoulder thing, but… She was not raised to wear her emotions on her sleeves and never really had a person to voice her thoughts and feelings to, but she was there for everyone else. Love and kindness manifested as he once heard. He voiced, “I’m… I’m sorry, Angie.”</p><p>It was startling when she appeared in front of him suddenly and he took a step backwards. He blinked when she reached out with her hand and her fingertips brushed his temple. He watched as her eyes flared and in his peripheral he saw the light that was familiar with her healing ability. He looked at her eyes and it was like he could see her in his mind doing something to the door that was keeping Michael in.</p><p>It was over quickly and she said, “That should help a little. Much more stronger when the source does it.”</p><p>Dean stared at her and rubbed his temple. He looked at Sam who was still pensive but there was relief. That was puzzling to him, but all he got out was, “What did you do?”</p><p>“Fix what the part of me that is Sam’s did,” Angela replied, not caring if the explanation was understood or not. “Should buy some time.”</p><p>“Angie…” Dean shook his head.</p><p>“Dean,” Angela interrupted. Her voice was devoid of anger but filled with that gentle love she had for anyone and anything living. “You know better than anyone, apart from Sam, that three strikes and you are not out.”</p><p>“But Billie…”</p><p>“Billie is right that there are multiple ways a person can die,” Angela continued. She turned towards the box and rubbed her hand on it. “I saw mine.” She looked at both brothers. “She has right to worry. Our world’s natural order has been thrown into chaos. Functioning but still chaos. As her role as Death, she felt obligated to give the options.”</p><p>Angela put both her hands on the box. She could destroy it, but she wasn’t going to do that. As long as she had lived, she knew her fair share when dealing with things on a cosmic scale. Her fingertips grazed the metal as she stared at it, thinking about what she had said, things they had done, things that were… everything.</p><p>“Then you know that this, spending eternity locked with Michael in a box is the only way,” Dean ventured, softening his naturally gruff voice. “I can’t be talked out of this, Angie. Not by you and not by Sam. No matter how much it hurts.”</p><p>“And I’m not. My outburst is a culmination of all the stupid stuff you both and me have done over the years.”</p><p>“Then…”</p><p>Sam was the one that spoke, “Because, she agrees with you.”</p><p>Dean looked at his brother who was staring at his wife. He looked at Angela in bewilderment, “You mean… you…”</p><p>“I never told either of you what to do. I may disagree with some of your choices, but I’ve always backed you both,” Angela looked up at both of them. She looked down and patted gently the box. “This… is a very last resort.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Dean frowned at her. “Don’t you be doing anything stupid like that damn council thing you did to rescind my deal,” he warned.</p><p>“And you don’t tell me what to do, big brother,” she countered in a firm tone, stressing the big brother part. “What I am saying, there is always one more thing. There is another way. What it is… I get the feeling that it might be in a past life.”</p><p>“Angie, don’t,” Dean warned.</p><p>Angela looked at Dean. She reached over and grasped his head by the cheeks, gently. Her thumbs stroked his skin as she looked him in the eye before pulling him in and pressing her forehead to his. “I will stand by you both, but just know that this is not the end. Hang on a little longer, big brother. The answer will be found.”</p><p>Dean was not adverse to Angela’s ways of showing affection. In his mind, it was the most sincere of everything she did and said. It showed her true feelings and thoughts. He always thought they were baby level even after all these years. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be. Pulling back, he looked at her and at Sam. His brother looked a little more relaxed. He was still upset and not liking the decision, but he realized that he had support. Looking at Angela, he nodded, “Okay.”</p><p>It was going to be a long and hard road. All three of them had been through a lot. Things that no one should experience but they happened. They came out on the other side but always changed. They were damaged good in the sense, but they persevered as long as they had each other by their side. And maybe there was a chance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 14.12 Prophets and Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean muses on his choices and realizes that he can't be selfish and leave the people that matter the most out of his decisions. Tag to Prophet and Loss.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once, I called Sam a selfish bastard. Maybe more than once, and always when he tried to do things differently, or wanted as close to a normal life as he could get. I even thought that when he fought so hard for me. Sad thing is, I would do the same. Have done the same.</p><p>I knew that the conversation was long overdue. Ever since we left Mom, it became the unspoken thing between me and Sam. Angie… she said her piece. And I think she knew that I wasn’t overly convinced by it despite the fact that I could see defeat in her eyes even when she begged me to hang on a little longer. Normally I would laugh at the idea of her begging, but… it broke my heart.</p><p>Sam, I could always rely on to pull me out of the hole and he would do it. I know that kid. Angie… We both knew that when push came to shove, she could and would do the one thing that Sam and I couldn’t do to each other. She became our appointed executioner. Well, we assumed it. And I feel like a dick because of it, because I know she wants to cry and she won’t because she loves us both. So much that she would yell at us, angry at us and the world and still be there. God, I’m so glad Sam has her.</p><p><em>I</em> am the selfish bastard.</p><p>I was that first. I couldn’t live without Sam and made the deal to bring him back. Angie could say she had a hand in it, but it was all me. It was my soul on the line. I paid the debt and both Sam and Angie fought to get me back. Angie… she was willing to follow me to hell to get me back, to hurt herself, and re-live everything… for <em>me.</em></p><p>How did I end up with a brother like Sam? Most important, how did I end up with a sister like Angie? What did I do to deserve the family that I have that ended up adding my best friend Cas and my favorite kid Jack, and the bundle of joy, Jess?</p><p>I know that it was a dick move to not tell Sam about the plan that Billie saddled me with. Scratch that, she gave me the possibility and I took it. It was even more of a dick move that I told Hale about it first, then Mom, and then Sam. Angie… girl knew because Billie told her.</p><p>I should have known that Billie would do things to shore up her hand. That would include telling Angie, but I don’t think that was it. There has to be something more to it, like Angie’s role in the whole thing. Billie loves to tell Angie what her place is in the world. Pretty much like the last guy who was Death. But Angie hasn’t said anything, and that worries me. Worries me about her family, and Sam.</p><p>Sam.</p><p>I know he was pissed at me. To him it looked like I was giving up. And maybe I am… was… Hell, I was ready to give up with the whole Mark of Cain business. And that was before I found out what Angie had done. And she was willing to do it again when Sam volunteered to bear the Mark. So glad <em>that</em> didn’t happen. If anything, Sam is the one deserving of a life and future.</p><p>
  <em>Life isn’t worth much without the people that matter the most, no matter how damaged they think they are.</em>
</p><p>That was in my thoughts ever since Angie told them to me after her rant. I thought about them as we drove with the box to make arrangements. They were on my mind when I had my nightmare of being stuck in the deep ocean with Michael for eternity. Sam was right in that Michael could keep me alive that long and the thought of that… torture. But I had to be the idiot and be firm in my resolve. I was firm and it hurt.</p><p>It hurt that not once Angie tried to convince me. I knew Sam was hurting even when I skated around things after my nightmare. I was hurting because she looked at me with nothing on her face. No hint of her feelings. She stared at me while Sam sat on the bed next to her. She didn’t even speak to me unless it had something to do with the job at hand.</p><p>For once, the job didn’t have to do with a monster, but a wayward prophet. Somehow, he was channeling Donatello’s prophet mojo. Weird, I know, but not out of there. I mean, Sam and I hooked up with Angie and since then, we’ve seen the things that were out of there beyond the things we already knew. I mean, we even learned that there was a chance to fix Donatello.</p><p>It was a chance for Cas to make things right. I know there is a lesson in this. Cas was latching onto the tiniest sliver of hope that he could make things right. In the end… he did. Donatello was brought back to the guy we knew. No soul, but he’s there. And there was a lesson behind it and Sam literally punched me in the face with it.</p><p>It hurt to see Sam break like that. It hurt that he asked me why I didn’t believe in us. But he had a right to ask that. And it took a punch to the face to drive it home. I know I would and could dish it back, but I needed what Sam dished out. I mean, how many times have I pulled Sam back from the edge; convinced him to not take the leap? Granted once it had near fatal consequences and it led to me tricking Sam into saying yes…</p><p>As it is… I’m sorry that it came to this. I should have told Sam first thing. And I <em>really</em> shouldn’t have let it seem like there was no other choice. Yet with what Billie told me… I didn’t want innocent people getting in the crossfire. Michael from that world would burn this one and I couldn’t let anything happen. Not to people and not to my family.</p><p>Sam is right though. We’ve always done things together. It kind of makes sense that weird thing he and Angie always tell each other: always and forever. I know there is more to it, but to me… it sums up what we are.</p><p>I do believe in us.</p><p>I do believe in us and I will stand with Sam to find another way. It is what we do and… Angie is right. There is always a way. You have to be on your last string to do the hardest of things. I told Sam that. I will fight, but if push comes to shove… he’s gonna have to let me go. It’s the hardest thing to ask my brother do, but it has to be done.</p><p>I don’t envy the position Angie has been in before she met us and what she is probably in now. I have checked out a few things when she told us about her time through history. I don’t envy the fact that she had to leave someone behind. They volunteered and later were killed because of politics. I don’t envy that she had to send men to their death in a battle charge. I don’t envy that she has been the one to save everyone at great cost.</p><p>I get it though. I get why she said the things she said. After Sam hit me and pulled me back, she just… hugged me. She was hurt, but she still loves me. Sam is my brother, but she has no reason to stick by me, yet she does. She’s forgiven me for the things I’ve done and still loves me. That, along with Cas being my friend and Sam being Sam… I’ll do what she asked. I’ll hang on a little longer. Cause let’s face it… if I go… I <em>will</em> have people who will miss me. So I’ll try and hang on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 14.13 Lebanon Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>John Winchesters gets the best gift he could ever receive. Some would say it is what one can only dream of. Tag to Lebanon.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Pa John!”</p><p>John Winchester couldn’t help but smile big even though tears were threatening as he lifted Jess and held her up. She was just adorable. And he couldn’t believe that she was his youngest son’s daughter.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what to believe when he first saw her being held by her mother. It was a shock and he instinctively raised his shotgun. He knew her mother well. He just didn’t expect Sam to step in the way and looked ready to kill him. Even more so when he saw her touch Sam’s shoulder and push him back.</p><p>The tension was broken when Jess spotted him and smiled. She then yelled out, “Pa John!”</p><p>It startled everyone, including John, and it had him lower the shotgun to standing down. In the end, Jess’ mother walked forward with no fear and introduced him to his granddaughter. He found it odd since she was at a disadvantage and he had the gun, but a look at his sons told him it was completely normal, and he allowed her to approach.</p><p>He was completely taken away when he was introduced to the little girl that was definitely a Winchester. He could see Sam’s eyes in her face and that happy smile… And it had him baffled when her mother handed her over without a qualm. And he didn’t let her go the whole time he was there.</p><p>Talking to his sons, seeing Mary… it was one of the best things he could ever ask in his life. He was so proud of his sons. He wanted them to have some semblance of a normal life and it seemed that his youngest was able to achieve that. Sam filled him in on how he met his wife and the years they had together which led to Jess.</p><p>John had to admit that he never figured that the woman who was merely a shadow and watched out for him and his boys would be the one that won Sam’s heart. He had worked with her a few times and learned a few hard lessons from her that… he never really implemented, more because he was full of pride and he found it difficult to ask forgiveness.</p><p>Looking at Jess, John smiled as he brought her close to him and held her. She smiled back as she gripped his jacket, her dark curls bouncing. Ever since Mary died, all he thought about was finding the thing that killed her. It was an obsession, his revenge. Yet, here was a light in the darkness, laughing and smiling at him. Like she knew him.</p><p>“I have been showing her a picture of you and telling her about you.”</p><p>John turned to see Jess’ mother looking at the pair of them with a soft smile. He gave a polite one as he adjusted his grip on Jess. “And I find it hard to see you as a mother. I’m used to you being…”</p><p>“The one that shows up from the shadows and literally kicked a vampire’s butt,” she replied with a slight smile. She leaned against the wall as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Same thing. This is just… more hands on.”</p><p>John chuckled at that. He glanced at Jess, who was playing with his jacket. “This is more like a dream. A dream that… seemed impossible.” He looked at Jess’ mother with a look that was mingled with tears and other emotions. “And yet, you did it, Angie.”</p><p>“You make it sound so easy,” Angela replied as she took a couple of steps forward. “But in reality, it was a bit if a dance that… almost got ruined a couple of times.”</p><p>John looked at Angela as she gave a sad smile. He frowned a little at that and shook his head, “No. That’s not the Angie I know. Not the one who literally told me she would beat some sense into me when I missed out on my boys’ birthdays.”</p><p>“I’m still me, John. I get scared like everybody else. Sam is my first and only.” She looked at John with a serious expression. Her mouth twitched slightly, “And he’s been more than patient with me.”</p><p>“I’d say it’s the other way around,” John countered. He grinned, “After all… you know me.”</p><p>Angela couldn’t help but chuckle. It caused John to chuckle with her and Jess made her happy baby sounds. John shifted to look at her. He took in the little girl’s appearance as she stared at him. He was still smiling when she put her little hands on his face, her little fingers rubbing the stubble. John stared at her with a smile, “You have Sam’s eyes.” He paused when she patted his face hard, making him laugh, “And that is a Winchester punch.”</p><p>“Pa John,” Jess beamed happily.</p><p>John smiled at her, “And you’re my little princess, Jess.” His eyes started to tear up.</p><p>Angela knew what it was about. Sam figured out what was happening when Dean wished for what his heart desired with the pearl. If things continued as they were, the timelines would continue to correct itself and eventually… Sam almost put himself into a panic mode when he realized the possibility that she and Jess wouldn’t be in his life.</p><p>Dean was the one though that set things right. Angela could still hear what she overheard between the two brothers. After all these years, she still tried not to eavesdrop, but it was a moot point since her hearing was excellent. More than an average human, to the point that she can detect imperfections when Baby was running.</p><p><em>I now </em>really<em> understand what Angie meant. About the whole thing about having the ability to make changes and the consequences… What it means to play God…</em></p><p>They spoke to John about it. Surprisingly, the man understood. He was all for destroying the pearl and fixing things. What he did was make the most out of the time being with his sons, his wife and his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. He held Jess throughout the entire meal, not wanting to put her down. He continued to hold onto her, not wanting it to end.</p><p>“I’m sorry, John,” Angela said.</p><p>John shifted to look at her and frowned a little, “What is there to be sorry for?”</p><p>“Just that you get to see this, see Mary again, and then… you might not… remember it,” Angela looked at him with a sorrowful look.</p><p>“And look who I’m talking to.”</p><p>Angela raised her brow at John, “What?”</p><p>John gave a slight chuckle, “You. I’m talking to the one person who always manages to leave a little bit of hope. You gave it to me when I dragged you out of retirement. I’ve had the best few hours of my life. I go to see my boys, Mary, Jess… you…” He smiled and nodded, “And somehow, I get the feeling that something would keep this moment in my mind.”</p><p>Angela gave a slight smile. She shifted on her feet. She didn’t think that it would be possible, but he seemed to pick up the bug like Sam and Dean and others that she encountered. “I hope so.”</p><p>“I know it.”</p><p>Angela stared at John and a look of understanding passed between them. John spent his remaining time with Mary and Jess, not wanting to let the little girl go. Not until the moment of truth when he handed her back to her mother, albeit a little reluctantly. It was painful to watch the little girl reach out with her hand, not wanting to let go.</p><p>It was enough to bring out the waterworks. Angela stood close since Jess wanted to hold onto John for as long as she could. Her little hand was clamped on his finger. She was whimpering even though she was comforted being in her mother’s arms.</p><p>John felt the happiest he had been in a long time. He got to see Mary again one last time. He saw his grown sons, and he was seeing the future of his family in her mother’s arms. It was… It was the last thing he saw when Sam smashed the pearl. He felt his eyes watered as he watched his family fade from view. It was his heart’s desire to keep that image in his mind.</p><p>He woke up and found himself in the Impala. It was raining, but he was warm and dry. It took him a moment to orient himself when his phone rang. He picked it up and found that it was Dean. He smiled as he reassured Dean that he was okay. “Just had a dream. It was a really good one.”</p><p>As John sat in the car, he smiled to himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was the first time he had a really good sleep. It was something he wanted for a long time since Mary died. This dream though… It was something he could only dream of.</p><p>
  <em>Love you Pa John.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 14.14 Light Ouroboros</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angela scolds Jack about what he did to save them from Michael and Hibah attempts to explain things. Tag to Ouroboros.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t you two ever do that again.”</p><p>Hibah blinked along with Jack as they stared at the woman that had been a mother to both of them. Jack was the one that replied, “But… Sam, Dean and Castiel were in trouble.”</p><p>“And you were warned, Jack, about using your powers.”</p><p>“And I’ve had to live feeling helpless, when I could have helped,” Jack pointed out.</p><p>Hibah felt her mouth open slightly. She ran her tongue along the tip of her tongue when she heard Ima say, “And it’s not worth your life.”</p><p>“And what about you? You do the same when it’s Sam on the line!”</p><p>Hibah hissed at that. She said softly, “Jack, don’t.” She then looked at Ima and saw the expression on her face, “Ima,” she voiced.</p><p>Angela looked at the two staring back at her. She took in Hibah’s sorry expression and Jack’s indignant one. Jack had hit her with a low blow. She stared at them, letting the quiet sink in.</p><p>Hibah didn’t want to breathe as the silence settled over them. It was similar to what her mother used to do when she got in trouble. It had her wonder who learned from whom. She glanced at Jack and noticed he started to whither, but he still had a firm look of protest. She let out a slight breath when she heard Ima speak, “There is much you don’t know about what I do and what I have done, Jack.”</p><p>Hibah looked at Ima and said, “Ima…”</p><p>Angela held her hand up to silence Hibah. She knew what Jack was getting at, and it was about time she explained a little more about how she had done things and what she did now. She looked at Jack and continued, “It is true that I have put everything on the line when it comes to Sam. But it also figures you, Dean, Cas, Jess, Hibah… all the people that matter the most to me in that equation. About twelve or so years ago, I made a promise.</p><p>“Before I joined Sam and Dean, I made decisions that were for the greater good for everyone else. I never figured myself into that equation. Then I met the Winchesters. Even then, I still didn’t care.”</p><p>Jack frowned at that, “You didn’t care? How…?”</p><p>Angela smiled gently at Jack’s puzzled expression. She glanced at Hibah who was looking a little ashamed. She answered, “Bad things happened to me before I met Sam and Dean. I had a very low sense of self-worth. With them… things changed. I started figuring myself into the outcomes when I devise my tactics.”</p><p>“And how…?” Jack frowned as he shook his head, trying to understand.</p><p>“I made a promise.”</p><p>Hibah sighed and looked at Jack as she explained, “Ima made a promise to Abba that she would consider.” She looked at her Ima and added, “Abba told me when you were looking for Amitz.” She looked back at Jack. “Ima likes to say that she said she will consider, but it was a promise and she’s kept it since then. Even when Ima went to hell with Abba… she kept it.”</p><p>Jack looked at Hibah and then at Angela. He spoke, “But… I could…”</p><p>“I know what it’s like, Jack,” Angela interrupted as she approached Jack. She put a hand on his shoulder. “I know what it is like to stand by and do nothing. Believe me, nothing is harder than when you are faced with two possibilities and both are unacceptable in a perfect world. In the end, the best decision is the one when you’ve considered all possibilities and find the least damaging one.”</p><p>Jack looked at Angela as she stared at him. He started to understand what she was getting at. He looked downward at the ground. “I’m sorry.” He looked up at her, “I really felt I could do something.”</p><p>“In the end,” Angela replied as she looked at both of them, “The worst thing you can do is put yourself in the position where you suffer for it later down the line. Because it isn’t just you that suffers.” She looked at both of them before leaving. She added, “Make sure that you wash up. Dinner is in an hour.”</p><p>Hibah wanted to laugh, but didn’t. Her lip twitched as she watched her Ima leave the room to go do what she always did as wife and mother. The twitch turned into a smile and she turned to look at Jack who had a look of bewilderment on his face. Like he was trying to process what just happened. She said, “Ima is like that. Mostly with Amitz.”</p><p>“I uh… thought,” Jack frowned as he tried process everything.</p><p>Hibah smiled at Jack, “You must know by now that Ima likes to let people make their own choices. She lays the options out and lets them decide. She’s let you do that.”</p><p>“But I disobeyed and… she just said not to do it again.”</p><p>Hibah took in Jack’s frown. She explained, “Ima… she didn’t like what you did and being a good parent told you not to do it again.” She made a slight face as she continued, “But… she is proud of you. You fixed Amitz and got your wings back.”</p><p>“It doesn’t make sense.” Jack looked at Hibah. He was used to seeing most things in black and white. He was learning the shades of grey. He understood more about Sam and Dean, but Angela was different. He had seen her become cold and calculating. He had seen her warm and full of love for her family. “Are you saying that she is upset, but happy?”</p><p>“Not happy… proud,” Hibah corrected, “Proud in that you handled it.” She put a hand on Jack’s shoulder and gave a slight smile. It was more to cheer Jack up. Her smile got bigger when the smallest hint of one appeared. “It was amazing and I can sense the power in you.”</p><p>Giving a tug, she led Jack towards the library. She knew that Sherlock was busy with other things since he had the experience. She offered, “If you want… I can just check on it every now and then. A talent I have as a goddess.”</p><p>Jack thought about it some. He then frowned, “You mean my soul?”</p><p>Hibah turned a solemn look at Jack. She took a breath and replied, “As a goddess, warrior goddess, of the Nile, I have the ability to see into the hearts of man. It goes to the idea that the way to see a warrior’s heart is through battle.”</p><p>“But that’s not the whole of it.”</p><p>Hibah smiled slightly, “Even someone who doesn’t fight like Abba or Amitz is considered a warrior. Humans fight for everything in life. From the time they are born, they fight to take that first breath. They fight when faced with unsurmountable odds. Some loud and memorable, like Ima. Others are quiet, but they make a difference to those that matter, and others will never know what they did… like Abba and Amitz.” Hibah paused and studied Jack. Right now, she could feel the anguish in Abba’s heart and no doubt Ima was feeling it too. Amitz… she promised to take a breather for a bit. Looking back at Jack, she continued, “Back in ancient times, despite the rules, the gods could be petty and cruel. Ima taught me how to respect a being. I never peek unless invited in.”</p><p>“But you could do it if you wanted to?”</p><p>“I could, but that would make Ima’s point about being preoccupied about being able to and not stopping to think about whether or not I should,” Hibah countered softly. She gave a wry chuckle, “Even a goddess if faced with the rock and a hard place.”</p><p>Jack chuckled too. He felt himself, but different. He knew that what he did, he risked his soul. He knew the dangers, but he stood by his choice. He could let his family suffer. He may be the son of Lucifer, but he was also a Winchester. Sam and Dean raised him to be a hunter and while it wasn’t the stellar type of parenting, they did their best, even when they tried to help with issues, they themselves hadn’t fully resolved.</p><p>Looking at Hibah, Jack replied, “I think I want to try to figure it out by myself.”</p><p>Hibah nodded, “And that’s fine.” She smiled, “Besides, I like you too much to do that.”</p><p>“I like you too.”</p><p>They chuckled a little at what had become a private joke. After Hibah came, she spent more time with Jack. She admitted she liked him, and Jack did the same. Unfortunately, it had been in front of Bobby and the man groused at them. The laugh eased the tension and Jack said, “I think I understand what Mother was saying.”</p><p>“And that’s all she asks. She may not say it, but it’s implied,” Hibah nodded. She gestured and said, “Come on, let’s go see to your snake. I know a thing or two.”</p><p>They left the library unaware that they were being watched by Angela. She was leaning against the wall, hidden, with a little help of her powers. She knew that things had changed, that Billie’s endings had changed. She was happy Jack was back to his old self. Yet, like anything that involved abilities… she was wary. It was because she knew. She knew the truth and its infinite possibilities.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 14.15 Peace of Light and Mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam mulls over everything after Michael used Rowena to kill the other hunters and ends up seeking comfort in his wife's arms. Tag to Peace of Mind.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam hated the bunker at the moment. It sounded silly since the place had been home the past six years. He was saying that he hated his home. He had good reason though. He saw, and could still see, the hunters that he led since they left Apocalypse world dead on the floor. He saw Maggie with her eyes burned out, calling out to him for help. And he couldn’t do anything about it.</p><p>It put him on edge, and he couldn’t stand being in the bunker for too long. It was why he threw himself into job after job. He could also hear her voice. His beloved. Singing her heart out for their souls as she sang her song of mourning. It shamed him to think that he was working to stay away from her.</p><p>It wasn’t Angela’s fault. They both made the decision that one parent had to be the stay at home one for their daughter. She said she would. Granted it didn’t work smoothly, but it did. She stayed home to care for Jess, and she helped the hunters in other ways that didn’t freak them out because she was an apex hunter. Yet Sam couldn’t help but think that if she had gone on the hunt for the Gorgon, Dean wouldn’t have gotten the blow to the head that gave Michael the opportunity to break free.</p><p>Angela seemed to have sensed that and let him go. She didn’t say much except to tell him to be careful. It had Sam feel guilty. He knew he was hurting her, and it made him hate himself more. She didn’t do anything to deserve that from him. She even came to help by helping Hibah stabilize what Jack did to Michael. Truth was, this last job was just running away.</p><p>Thinking about it, he wanted to scoff. The last time he ‘ran away’ was when he left them both after breaking the last seal. And that was the last time he hurt her as much as he did now. He was such a fuck up that he was at the point that he was happy when that psychic tweaked his mind. But it wasn’t true happiness. Castiel reminded him of that.</p><p>The funny thing was, that while he was under the psychic’s influence, he didn’t feel her presence at all. There was no pushing, no prodding, no nothing. The only thing that he had was Castiel in his face, telling him that he knew what it was like to feel helpless, how it felt to fail as a leader and lose his army. That brought him back and even when he was his normal self, she wasn’t there, and it scared him.</p><p>She always told him that she would never willingly leave him. It was what she said when she took herself and the baby to hide from the Brits. This though, it felt different. She wasn’t in his thoughts, his feelings, like usual and it had him think the worst case. One was that she was dead, but he was certain that would feel way different, the other was one that he feared. He feared that she would finally be fed up with his bullshit and pack up and leave. He wouldn’t blame her if she did that. He and Dean both weren’t the best towards her, and they deserved whatever she decided to dish out to them. It was one thing that they agreed on.</p><p>Yet, he was reasonable enough to wait and see if it was just her ‘turning it off’ like she had done with Kesset and Castiel a couple of times. Returning to the bunker had him find that Dean was looking rested despite the worried look he hid. Jack seemed to be okay, and he was too much of a coward to ask Dean about Angela.</p><p>Hibah greeted him as usual and it told Sam that maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought. Then again, Hibah was still young and not well versed in the manner of being sneaky. In a fight, she was, but when it came to other things… not so much. So, he really couldn’t rely on it. It only got better when he went into Jess’ room and found her asleep in her crib. His lip twitched at the fresh cutting of flowers, Sherlock’s doing, no doubt. He knew enough to relax. Angela would never leave the baby behind if she were truly leaving him, but still not all was right.</p><p>Facing the music, he went to the room they had shared since changing it after Gadreel possessed him, trying to be quiet. He found her asleep, facing away from him on her side of the bed. She looked… lonely. She looked lonely and it had him cursing himself for pushing her away and just wanted to hold her and say all the things he wanted, especially that he was sorry.</p><p>Pausing only to take off his shoes, he crawled into bed behind her. He pulled her close to his body, wrapping his arm around her waist and tucking his head into the crook of her neck. He breathed in her scent and squeezed her tightly and closed his eyes to just take it in. He opened his eyes when he felt her hand in his hair, gently massaging his head.</p><p>“I see Cas convinced you.”</p><p>Sam long gave up how she was able to go from sleep to full wakefulness within a matter of seconds. He figured she had been waiting and was just ‘resting her eyes’. Pressing a soft kiss to the scar, his mark, on her neck, he replied equally soft, “Yeah.”</p><p>She hummed and continued to rake her fingers through his hair. Sam sighed and nuzzled her neck and whispered, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Sorry for what?”</p><p>“That I shut you out. Ran away.” Sam lifted his head and turned away. He couldn’t move completely since she still had an arm wrapped around him and on his head. He still managed to turn and look away, resting his chin on her shoulder. He huffed a slight breath.</p><p>He blinked when he felt her fingers on his cheek. They were gently tracing his skin, feeling his stubble. It had Sam sigh and close his eyes. He opened them, instinctively moving into the gesture. His hand moved to caress her middle, a habit that he cultivated when Jess had been very active in the womb and later proved to be just a soothing habit for whenever he felt like it and she never protested it because she liked it.</p><p>“I’m sorry, too.”</p><p>Sam paused in what he was doing and turned back to look at her to find her golden orbs gazing up at him. “Sorry for what?”</p><p>Her eyes stared up at him and he realized what she meant. His mouth opened slightly before he replied in the most serious of expressions, “You have <em>nothing</em> to be sorry for. If you do anything, it is because of me. It’s all on me.” He paused and sighed, his expression softening as he pressed his mouth into her shoulder. Turning back, he continued, “I… I hate being here now. I can see… I can see them… Maggie… dead. But this is home…” He turned away and propped his chin on her shoulder, frustrated with what to say.</p><p>He barely felt her arm maneuver around to adjust to his position until he felt her fingers in his hair. He felt the elongated limbs finger and comb through his locks, the back of her first finger deliberately stroking the side of his face. He didn’t look at her and continue to mull on his thoughts.</p><p>“It’s hard to feel safe when your place is violated.”</p><p>“And you and Jess were here. If Michael…”</p><p>“Hmm. Jess would have been fine.”</p><p>Sam turned his head to look at her. “How can you say that, Angie? I mean. I didn’t doubt when you were pregnant, but now…”</p><p>“Because of Amitiel. Sherlock. Hibah. Cas. People I trust,” Angela replied softly as she continued to pet Sam’s hair. “I plan contingency. Hard not to after all my time in this life.” She smiled gently, “You said it yourself. Tactician’s mind.”</p><p>Sam snorted at that and couldn’t help but smile slightly. It didn’t last as he looked away again. He sighed as he basked in her touch. His hand resumed caressing her abdomen as he stared at the wall. He still felt bad about everything. More so because his beautiful wife suffered the same as he did. She didn’t run away though.</p><p>“You didn’t need me.”</p><p>Sam blinked out of his thoughts. He wasn’t sure if he heard right and turned to look at her. Frowning he asked, “What?”</p><p>“You didn’t need me,” Angela repeated. She watched his expressions and saw that he was going to protest. She paused in her petting Sam’s hair to press her first two fingers on his lips to stop him. She explained, “You and Dean know I can relate to a lot of your experiences. For the most part, it works. You didn’t need that. You needed someone who has been there, done that and wasn’t me.” She smirked a little, “Cas, was shocked when he asked for help.</p><p>“The hardest thing is not knowing when to step back, but to actually do it. I knew it would send you into a panic, but… you needed it.”</p><p>Sam had held his mouth shut after she pressed her fingers to it and did so after she removed them. He swallowed slightly as his hand moved from her abdomen to caress her face. His lip twitched before he uttered, “Methods to your madness.”</p><p>Angela nodded as she felt Sam’s hand caress her face. It was instant reaction when her eyes flared slightly in response. It was a sign of how Sam’s touch could and still affect her. “Never meant to hurt you,” she whispered, her voice trembling.</p><p>Sam ran his thumb along her cheek. “I know that.” He leaned in close, letting his face hover over hers. He whispered, his breath glistening over her lips, “Selfless and beautiful.”</p><p>“Flatterer.”</p><p>“Honest truth.” Sam looked at Angela, taking in her expression. He could see her feelings. She had been affected by this just as he had. Sighing he lowered his head and muttered, “I’m a selfish bastard.”</p><p>It was then that Sam felt a tug on his hair. He didn’t move his head. He felt the tug again, harder. It didn’t hurt, but it allowed him look up to look her in the eye. Her hand was firm in his hair and ready to correct if he tried to turn away. He didn’t need it though, but he allowed it as he took in her expression that appeared to be a rebuke. He kept staring at her as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers in a firm kiss.</p><p>It didn’t stop there. He continued the kiss, deepening while moving his hand to bury it in her hair. He gently tugged on hers as she responded to his kissing. He could feel her fingers grasping his hair, but not pulling. He continued to kiss her and shifted his body to cover hers, his other arm shifting down to grasp around her waist near her hip. He broke the kiss and moved to nibble gently on the left side of her neck and her leg raised to hook on his hip.</p><p>It was not Sam’s intention to engage in intimacy when he came home. The talk stirred up the feelings he had been going through and he sensed she had. Pent up feelings and thoughts collided, and they sought each other in comfort. It certainly felt like comfort as Sam made love to the woman that stood by him no matter what. Both were seeking comfort and peace of mind after tragedy struck and the security of home had been shattered.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 14.16 Light in the Woods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are not okay and Hibah is keeping things from everyone. Oh and she likes Jack. Tag to Don't Go into the Woods.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hibah may be considered an adult when it came to her godly powers, but in terms of being a human, she was still relatively younger. Granted she was older than Jack, who was technically two years old, but she was still a child with all things human. She was better than her Uncle Cas and close to her Ima’s guardian Kesset, but still she missed the mark on some things. One was that her Abba and Amitz told a lie.</p><p>Abba had found a job that clearly wasn’t an animal attack and was linked to disappearances going back sixty years. Amitz was up for the job and she would have liked to have gone. She liked being a hunter and doing something more than what the rules had been set for gods. The sticking point was Jack.</p><p>Abba and Amitz were concerned and they had every right to be. Jack had essentially killed Michael and taken his grace and was back. But the price had been high. Hibah sensed it and tried to insert herself to be in a position to help or warn. It was why she offered to Jack. It was about the same subtlety Ima used when trying to warn Abba about danger.</p><p>In the end, Amitz said that Jack needed to stay behind and look after things and go on a supply run. Hibah could see right through that one since Ima wasn’t going anywhere. She had been a bit under the weather after the whole thing with Michael and the tension between her and Abba; she wasn’t a hundred percent, but functioning enough to make sure Jess was taken care of as well as their home. Amitz was insistent and even had a list.</p><p>It was sort of painful to watch Abba’s face trying to be cheerful when Jack read the list and noted that beer was listed twice. As much as Hibah wanted to go with them, she sensed she would be in a better position to monitor Jack. Plus, it didn’t help that Liam, the werewolf from Rosyln was in town. He said he was visiting his sister. Hibah figured it had to do with Ima and Abba let it be known. She didn’t understand that it was more of a habit and their thing.</p><p>So Hibah stayed behind with Jack to be more like an extra pair of hands for Jess. It was unnecessary since Ima was being unusually clingy and didn’t let the baby out of her sight. Hibah was going to try to understand that since she wasn’t a mother. So, she spent her company with Jack. It was fine since she liked him and he professed liking for her. A bonus was that they didn’t have to walk or use her powers to get from point A to point B. Amitz made sure that Jack knew how to drive and he did it fairly well. It had her want to smile at Jack imitating his posture.</p><p>Grocery shopping was not new. She had seen it in the marketplace at Karnak. The times and the peculiarities were what had her baffled. She was used to a stall being open from the time the market opened until dark when they closed shop. The concept of minimal hours was something to get used to and thus was baffled at the fact that the store was closed for lunch.</p><p>The one thing that Hibah could say she was thankful for was that she knew how to dress in Ima and Abba’s world. She was well aware that the traditional wear of the Egyptian pantheon would look very out of place and humans would comment on this thing called cosplay or something from Caesar’s Palace. It was incorrect but… Hibah liked what she wore and Amitz said that she looked like a badass, which she equated as being a good thing.</p><p>Eventually, someone came back and Hibah blinked as she stared at the group of kids looking at them like they were celebrities. Well, the boy was, considering that she and Jack lived with Abba and Amitz. It surprised her more that they were aware of the supernatural and were relatively calm about it. It was an oddity to her since most humans tended to react like you were crazy and fight or flight, mostly flight, kicks in.</p><p>It worried her that Jack took it all in a stride, like it was cool. It only brought to light that he was more of a child in the ways of the world. She wasn’t any better and she knew that, but she was also working on her instincts. Amitz insisted that she learn how to develop them. Right now, they were telling her that there was something going on with Jack. He was still his polite and cute boyish and endearing self. She was polite to the kids but hung back. She didn’t like the idea of revealing that she knew the supernatural.</p><p>It came to a sort of head when she was shopping. She had asked, “Jack, do you see the Nutter Butter that Ima likes?”</p><p>“Ima?”</p><p>Hibah heard the condescending tone in the girl’s voice as she turned to look at the girl. It was Jack who answered, “Oh that’s Mother.”</p><p>“Mother? So, you’re siblings?”</p><p>Hibah corrected, “Ima raised me until I was nine and then I was able to go back to my mother.”</p><p>“And Mother adopted me along with her mate.” Jack added, being helpful.</p><p>“Mate?”</p><p>“Husband,” Hibah offered, hoping that they wouldn’t ask more questions. “Abba is her husband.”</p><p>“Abba?”</p><p>“Sam,” Jack entered.</p><p>Hibah wondered if this was how Ima felt when Uncle Cas or Kess did or said something that just didn’t help matters. She watched as the boy got wide eyed and said, “No! Your mom is married to Sam Winchester?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jack replied with a nod and a smile. He then directed his attention to Hibah and said, “Anything else we need to get? Anything for Jess?”</p><p>Hibah wanted to groan. It felt that Jack inadvertently revealed everything about the Winchester family. Jess was never mentioned and for good reason. Even though she was human for the most part, Hibah could sense that she was a special being. Whether or not the little girl would go through the change like her mother was the unknown and while Abba and Ima anticipated it, they didn’t bring any undue risk to their daughter.</p><p>The rest of the shopping trip proved to be not as damaging. The only thing that was a sticking point was the fact that Jack didn’t have a real ID to buy the beer that Amitz wanted. Rather than make a scene, they just put it back and took everything else. Hibah breathed a sigh of relief that the kids didn’t press, but she didn’t like the idea that they had been invited to their hangout. She disliked it even more when Jack went and brought lore books for the boy.</p><p>Hibah hadn’t wanted to go, but something told her that it would be better if she did. She was rather uncomfortable because she couldn’t relate to any of the kids. She didn’t care that the girls were engaged in a kissing session. Homosexuality was not a big deal where she was from and Ima never batted an eye at what was considered deviant behavior. She only said that she had seen worse in the time of the Borgia and something about thirteenth century tapestry porn. It had Abba twitch his lip and Amitz’s eyes boggle.</p><p>Her unease was justified when Jack started talking about demons and that he killed one. She was speechless when he offered to teach them a little and she felt her breath leave her when he pulled out the angel blade. She did try to get Jack to stop but he was insistent in trying to show off and she was hardly in a position to use the tattling argument. That was extremely childish, and she didn’t want to bring Ima into this.</p><p>It came to a head when Jack started using his powers. Hibah was shocked that he was doing it and she saw what it was doing with the kids they were around. As a goddess, she had abilities that defied logic and could scare people. She knew the look of fear well and she saw it on the kids’ faces. She looked at Jack as he kept playing with the angel blade. Something was deathly wrong.</p><p>Something was wrong and it was the fact that one of the girls had run in fear and into the path of the flying angel blade. Hibah had killed before. She had killed before but never an innocent and it was always in front of someone who knew the job and the risks. This was different and she found herself unable to know what to do.</p><p>Jack managed to make things right and save the girl. The damage was done though. The kids were terrified of him. The boy even told her that she as better off not being near Jack. She didn’t need to look to know that Jack had heard everything. It made her feel sick to her stomach about everything and she had to leave the area for a little while. She didn’t know what to do. The logical step was to tell Ima, but she didn’t.</p><p>It didn’t help that Jack didn’t say anything either. When they got back to the bunker, they didn’t say anything about what happened. It was almost like an agree to disagree thing or something. Hibah didn’t know and it pained her. It pained her more when Jack didn’t mention anything when Abba asked about their day, but rather said everything was okay.</p><p>It almost had Hibah react with her powers, but she didn’t. If she did, it would have raised questions and maybe have Abba and Amitz upset with Jack. She felt stuck with this. She sensed something was not right with Jack and she didn’t know what to do. The whole thing had her seek refuge in the library to think about things. She pulled out one of the books Abba liked to research with and sat down to read and think.</p><p>“Are you… scared of me too?”</p><p>Hibah blinked and looked up to see Jack looking at her with a frown and what looked like a worried expression. She put a finger in the book to mark her place as she adjusted to look up at him. She blinked and replied, “I’m not scared of you. I am worried for you.”</p><p>“But I’m fine and I had control.”</p><p>“They asked you to stop, and you didn’t. Her fear got the better of her,” Hibah sat forward as she looked at Jack. She could tell that he was musing through it. She looked away and added, “That wasn’t control.”</p><p>“Then… what was it?” Jack had taken a seat next to her.</p><p>Hibah looked away, not sure of what to say. It was one of those times she wished Ima was able to talk about it. As it were, it was placed on her to give an answer. She thought about what Ima might say and what she would say. Sighing, she finally managed to say, “Just because someone is okay with knowing about beings like us… it doesn’t mean that you can be reckless with it.”</p><p>“But…”</p><p>Hibah shook her head gently, “Humans… they get nervous to afraid with something they don’t quite understand. Even experienced people get a little afraid. But it’s different for them. It becomes something else the more someone gets to know another.”</p><p>“You’re talking about Mother and Sam… how they feel.”</p><p>“A bit.” Hibah looked away and then back at Jack. She studied him for a bit. Taking a breath, she added, “Jack… you have tremendous abilities, but not everyone is ready for it. Abba and Amitz are worried that because you haven’t used them for so long, that it would…”</p><p>“Sort of like Mother and her new abilities.”</p><p>“Something like that,” Hibah agreed quietly. She still felt guilty about what happened with Ima and her absorbing her grace. Abba had said he didn’t blame her, and Ima was understanding, but that still didn’t stop the guilty feelings. Sighing, she added, “I won’t say anything about what happened to Abba, Ima or Amitz.”</p><p>“I am fine,” Jack insisted.</p><p>Hibah looked a Jack. Her eyes flared at him indicating she didn’t believe him and was disappointed with him. “You are not fine.”</p><p>“I <em>am</em> fine,” Jack insisted.</p><p>“You are not.” Hibah stood up and put the book back on the table. She stared at Jack with a narrow look. “I’ve been considerate and not taken a peek, but things aren’t okay.” She turned to leave and head to the room she had been given. She paused and looked back, “I won’t say a word. Just remember this: secrets and lies never come to any good. Even when they are done for someone’s own good. They hurt. A lot.”</p><p>Hibah couldn’t say more and left it at that. She really liked Jack and knew he was a good person. Ima, Abba and Amitz made sure of that from the day they took him in. She knew that if things were worse than what they seemed concerning the boy, it would cause pain on all sides. She just hoped that Jack would say something before things became worse.</p><p>Hibah was young for a human, if she were one. Yet, she experienced things that an adult would. Technically, she was one by godly standards, but it was a lot. She didn’t like the idea of keeping secrets, especially from the people that raised her, imprinted with her. Her guilt over what she did to Ima was proof of that. She wanted to wash her hands of it all.</p><p>But she couldn’t abandon Jack. She stuck around because she liked the kid. Things were not okay, but she would be there. She would be there if Jack needed help. And she hoped that he would ask for it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 14.17 Game Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam knows that he is dying after Nick clocked him a good one. He also knows just how stubborn his wife can be. All he can do is hang on. Tag to Game Night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Always and forever.</em>
</p><p>A phrase that could be considered romantic with the whole true love thing and unique. It could mean that no matter what the persons involved would love each other. A declaration that love lasts forever. The chick flick stuff. To Sam Winchester, it meant so much more.</p><p>True it was romantic in the sense since it was first uttered when he and his beloved declared their feelings and decided with the time that they had left that they would do it together. Of course, that was when he had the idea of saying yes to Lucifer and getting him back into the cage. Since then, it took on a whole new meaning.</p><p>It drove home the meaning of the wedding vows he took when they had an official, legal wedding when she was expecting Jess. Every decision, every choice, would be made together and they would leap together. It was their way of saying ‘I love you’ no matter what. And it was on his mind as he laid there on the ground, trying to stay awake, looking up at her and his brother Dean.</p><p>It had started with the phone call from Donatello. It turned out that Nick had kidnapped him and injected him with what they thought was thallium but was actually angel grace. Then the bastard hid their friend and set a ticking clock on them. And he wanted to beat it out of Nick and then shoot him.</p><p>In all the years that they had been together, Sam knew that the voice of reason was his wife, Angela. Even when it was clear she wanted to rip Nick’s head off at the bunker, she remained calm and cool. The kind of thing that spoke the truth of her being the great tactician. <em>She</em> was the one that suggested they tackle the problem from both sides.</p><p>Sam was apprehensive about the whole thing. Had been since her abilities had been souped up with angel grace, but he trusted her. He knew that she would be able to track Donatello down. She was an apex hunter now and could track him down even when the scent was long gone. Dean was in agreement. So, Hibah dropped Angela and her newest dog, Hamia at Donatello’s place and started tracking the elusive prophet.</p><p>Sam didn’t like that Nick requested to talk to Jack. He was worried about the kid ever since he got his grace back. He said he was okay, but deep down. He sensed something was off. He was giving Jack the length of leash and he was hoping that he wouldn’t strangle him and Dean with it. It was so much like the chances Angela gave him when he ran with Ruby.</p><p>It could be considered perfect timing when Angela called stating that she found the place but that she would wait for them. Sam knew that she was perfectly capable of taking on anything resembling a trap on her own. She had barged in to rescue him and Dean numerous times. The reason she waited was because she was still afraid. She was afraid of what she would do, and she didn’t want to have one more person she cared about scared of her because she was different now. It pained Sam that she still felt that way and it was like getting shot when she suggested he felt the same until he corrected her.</p><p>Sam had been annoyed but also relieved when Dean said that if Nick tried anything, he would shoot him. There was no denying it. Sam wanted to. He truly thought that he had changed and wanted to give him a chance. He hated himself that he had been that trusting, but as his mother pointed out, it wasn’t his fault. And he knew that Angela would point out that it was Nick’s choice and that in the end, it was always the person’s choice. It was the comfort and truth when he made the choice to pursue his relationship with her despite the consequences that came with it.</p><p>Sam should have seen Nick’s betrayal. After what he did, killing all those people… He should have seen it. Instead, he paid for it. Sam knew that his skull was bashed in. It wasn’t like all the other times he took a blow to the head. It felt different and it was pure adrenaline that kept him going. But he knew that she felt it.</p><p>Sam knew that he was dying. He could sense it, but he was willing to keep fighting. It was the one thing he could do, and he had the mantra that he kept chanting. His promise to his wife. The mother of his beautiful daughter. Just seeing hers and Dean’s faces was enough.</p><p>“Let me in Dean.”</p><p>Sam couldn’t say much but he focused on her voice and Angela came into his line of sight. She was so beautiful. Like the day he met her. He thought she was beautiful despite the attitude. He wasn’t aware of his feelings then, but he knew she was special on all levels. The best feature being her eyes; tawny and golden… and worried as they looked down at him.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Sam frowned as he tried to stay with them. The way Dean said that meant… He couldn’t move his head much, but he did move his eyes. He sensed that his wife was about to do something that would give him and Dean a heart attack even if it had the best intentions. Mostly it was when she used her healing abilities and Sam was well aware how draining they were, especially if it involved life and death.</p><p>Seeing spots in his vision wasn’t a good sign. Sam knew that but he focused on what his beloved was doing. He saw the knife, a flash of silver and thick red ooze coming from her palm. It confused him, but he had to focus on his breathing.</p><p>“It’s the most basic. Don’t worry. He’s not going to turn.”</p><p>Sam felt the compress leave his head and her bleeding palm came in contact with the wound. It shocked him and it pained him. He couldn’t help but cry out in pain. It felt like pieces of his skull was moving. He choked and gasped for air.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sam. Just relax. It’s gonna be okay.”</p><p>Sam wanted to respond but couldn’t. All that came out was a grunt as he felt something seem to pulse through his blood and his ears picked up the familiar chant of a spell. His eyes opened once he heard it and he started stuttering, “D-don’t… don’t Angie.”</p><p>
  <em>Relax Sam.</em>
</p><p>Sam jerked under her hand, but she refused to let up as he heard her voice in his head. She finished her spell and he felt his head pulse. His head still hurt, but it was like she was holding onto him. Like he was falling and gripping the edge of a cliff and the piece he was holding fell off and before he fell, she grabbed him and was holding on.</p><p>“It’s not looking good, Dean. This will hold on but… we need a hospital.”</p><p>“Can’t you… do that mojo thing you do?”</p><p>Sam heard the desperation in Dean’s voice. He knew that she heard it and she would make the decision and do that. She was the one to think of others before herself and often to the detriment of her health. He had to say something. He reached out and grabbed her by the wrist. He felt himself struggle to breathe as he choked out, “Angie.”</p><p>It was a running joke that Winchesters didn’t like to be restrained. It was double when they were restrained because of injury. The instinct for survival kicked in and they fought until someone with more authority in their voice spoke. Usually it was Angela. Dean called it the mom voice since it sounded like a mother’s stern voice rather than the alpha of a pack thing going on. Sam reacted when Dean laid his hands on him even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea to move and he growled at his brother while trying to tighten his grip on her arm.</p><p>“Sam, stop,” Dean’s voice entered.</p><p>It only made Sam struggle more as he tried to choke out what he wanted to say. He would have made things worse until she said, “Dean. Let him go.” Then she said, “Sam, stop moving. I’m listening.”</p><p>Sam knew better than to disobey her when she took that tone. While it was used on kids, it also held a tone of obey me because its life or death here. He relaxed as soon as Dean let him go and then his brother’s face moved from view. His brother was saying something, but his focus was on his beautiful wife as she stared down at him.</p><p>“Sam?”</p><p>Sam had his focus on her and choked in pain as he held on, “Don’t, Angie.”</p><p>“Sam.”</p><p>“Don’t. Jess… needs her mother. Needs you.” He gasped and swallowed in pain. “This… it’s gonna… pull you down. Remember… last time?”</p><p>“You doofus.”</p><p>Sam choked out a laugh at that. He was always amused by her choice of insult. Some were peculiar phrases. Others were because she, like him, were working on reducing the swearing around their daughter. They both agreed that a child should not be saying stuff like that and it was an ongoing campaign with Dean since habits were hard to break.</p><p>“Jess needs <em>both</em> her parents. Always and forever.”</p><p>Sam shivered and looked up at her. Her hand was still on his head as he looked up at her. He caught her eye, “Al-Always and for… forever.”</p><p>
  <em>Just hold onto me. That’s why I said the spell. Hold on.</em>
</p><p>Sam could only look up at her. She was joined by Dean and they shared a look. He knew that it wasn’t looking good. He could feel it. He was barely hanging on. And he knew that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt herself, because she always considered. From the first time he brought it up and asked her to, she did that.</p><p>He was disoriented a little, but it became clear that there was a gentle weight on his chest. He stared upward. He was aware that he was trying to breathe but there was no pressure on his lungs. He could still feel her hand on his head, and he could hear Dean starting to go into a panic. What the hell was going on?</p><p>“Twenty minutes is like an eternity. I’ll do what I can, but it still is energy.”</p><p>It was then that Sam caught the scent. It was hers. The scent of life and sweetness that he had known for years. It became clear that she was lying on top of him. And her hand still on his head. He tried to say something, but her thumb rubbed against his head, telling him in her silent way to shush.</p><p>Sam held on, but he could sense he was fading fast. He knew it. Dean knew it. She knew it. Yet, she still stayed. He looked up at his brother as his last legs came and he couldn’t help but tell Dean how he always looked after him first. Spots began to dance in his vision even though he could feel her thumb brush against his skin. He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.</p><p>
  <em>Sam? Angie?</em>
</p><p>Sam opened his eyes to find himself back home. But it wasn’t the bunker. It had a different feel to it. He looked ahead and saw Angela staring at him. She had that saucy look, or rather the part of her that was his. She stood there, her hands at her side and in loose fists. Her hair hung loose, the dark waves resting like a cloud on her shoulders and down her back, the permanent highlights from hell accentuated.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re giving up,” she said with a smirk.</p><p>Sam shook his head slightly, “Nick hit me. Bad. You know it. I know it.”</p><p>“And I said for you to hang onto me.” She raised her brow expectantly. She then sighed and stepped forward. “I am respecting your request. You know better than anyone the toll to the energy of the person when the healer uses their abilities. This is just the basics.”</p><p>“As always… selfless and beautiful.” Sam reached out and ran his fingers through the loose locks. “But Jess needs you. She needs her mother.”</p><p>“She needs both of us, Sam. Mother and father.” Angela looked at him. “This job, the risk of death is high, but when has anyone of us sat back and let it happen? We fight. That is what we do. Even against all odds we fight.”</p><p>“But you shouldn’t risk your life for me.”</p><p>“Always…” She replied as she stepped even closer. “Always and forever. Our promise.”</p><p>Sam looked downward, “Made because I have one lifetime with you.”</p><p>“And it includes all moments.”</p><p>Sam held still when she reached over and combed his hair. She continued, “I fight to keep you and Dean with me. You both gave me something worth fighting for beyond what I had been doing before I met you. And you protect what matters the most. Little selfish, but motivation.”</p><p>“This was my fault. Trying to help Nick…”</p><p>“And I don’t ask for anything less than what you are,” she replied. She then looked upward, and her eyes flared. “Time is running out. Twenty minutes is an eternity.” She looked downward and shook her head before looking up at him. “Stay with me, Sam. There are things that need to be fixed. Some closer to home.”</p><p>“Home?” Sam frowned and his thoughts turned to his daughter. “Is something wrong with Jess?”</p><p>“Hang onto me, Sam.”</p><p>“Angie?”</p><p>“And wake up.”</p><p>Sam felt air rush into his lungs as a throb hit his head. It wasn’t excruciating. It was healing. He opened his eyes and gasped. It was automatic that his jump up, but he was grabbed from behind. He didn’t struggle since he recognized the maneuver since the hands clasped right over his chest in the same area when he had gone through the trials.</p><p>It was automatic for his hand to reach up and cover hers. He felt her chin tuck in the crook of his neck. He looked down and could see the blood on her hand. He looked at Dean and then at Jack. He listened to her breathing and realized she was looking right up at Jack.</p><p>
  <em>There are some things that need to be fixed. Some closer to home.</em>
</p><p>Sam frowned as he processed what he last remembered. He looked at Dean and saw the relief on his face. He saw Donatello and was relieved he was okay. The only thing he could focus on was the fact that she was holding onto him, not relinquishing her hold. She was holding onto him as she asked him to when she placed her hand on his head. He would continue to hold on. They were in this together. Always and forever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 14.17 Game On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angela tracks down the missing prophet Donatello while Dean 'interrogates' Nick. Tag to Game Night.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The great tactician she was called. Her ability to rally troops, use them to gain victory, the kind that made the history books… A gift and a curse it seemed. The gift lay in her ability to remain calm even during the direst of circumstances. And it was often the voice of reason when confronted by things that stirred up the past and the feelings along with it.</p><p>Angela knew pain, suffering and uncontrollable rage. She lived it, with the worst being that she almost lost herself completely. The reason had stood beside her for the last decade; one of two beings that caused her to be selfish. So she understood Sam’s reaction when Dean and Mary brought Nick to the bunker.</p><p>Torture was an option. However, experience taught Angela that physical force wasn’t always a means to an end. Even emotional torture wasn’t a guarantee. Thus came the option that Sam was reluctant to use even though it had proven useful at times. He had good reason for it having seen things that were a result of the good intentioned helpfulness of Hibah.</p><p>Being the tactician she was, she knew she had to use her skills. Even though she took Nick’s declaration that Donatello had been injected with thallium with a grain of salt, she wasn’t going to completely disregard it. She was on a clock, but she couldn’t afford mistakes. She also couldn’t be blasé with her safety either.</p><p>Hibah brought her back to Donatello’s home. It was the starting point to the gift that had been amplified to astronomical proportions. She had been a tracker, trained to be one when her father came for her along with the ability to fight. She improved those skills with nomadic hunters, but it was always the immediate thereafter. Now she can track days after the target passed and with her heightened senses, it could be scary and almost not human.</p><p>It proved helpful in tracking Dean and she was confident that she could track down Donatello. The one thing both Winchesters insisted upon was taking her newest dog, Hamia. She didn’t argue with them and it made sense. He needed training and he was too cantankerous like her first Wilder, from where his line descended from. Plus, even a tracker needed an overwatch.</p><p>Looking around the house, Angela breathed in the scents, filtering them out. She could pick out Donatello’s scent, Dean and Mary’s. She even sorted out Nick’s. It was like getting a clear picture of all that went on in that house. She looked around and noted the homey look it had and she almost smiled as she came to where Dean and Mary found Donatello’s phone. She studied the scene, taking in everything.</p><p>“How will this help find the prophet, Ima?”</p><p>Angela didn’t move. Her eyes did shift to look in her peripheral line of sight. She took in the added presence of her adopted daughter and then looked back at the scene. She didn’t mean to be cold, but she had a job to do, “You brought me. Now go. Return to the bunker, Hibah.”</p><p>“But…”</p><p>“Go. Now. Be there when they need you.” Angela didn’t look at Hibah. She couldn’t afford to and she didn’t want the girl to see her like this as her eyes flared beyond what they normally did.</p><p>The slight gust of wind told her that Hibah had gone and Angela took to focusing on what she needed to do. Her nostrils flared slightly as she barely shifted. Her brain processed the scents in rapid succession to create the sequence of events. It had been hard to describe to Sam, but he filled in the blanks where he could and had a basic understanding.</p><p>It almost felt like when she had left for that time and had gone in search of Michael. The difference was that she was more focused. It wasn’t like the lifetime of practice, but she had forced herself to attain a level of control. Story of her life since the day she underwent the change. It was all about learning control and the consequences. Hard lessons learned and passed on.</p><p>Tracking was skill and talent. Angela followed the trail like bread crumbs, taking in the slightest hints of change. She was well aware that she growled on occasion when she picked up the trail. It was that part that made people nervous. She was a predator.</p><p>She was a predator. Sam knew that. Dean knew that. Both knew it from the day they met. She knew it. It didn’t matter that she embraced her humanity. There was always the part of her that was not human, a hunter, something that would stop at nothing if completely set free. Apart from being alone, it was what she feared the most. And yet, it was the thing that saved them time and again.</p><p>
  <em>You’re a good person, Angie. I trust you… we trust you with our lives.</em>
</p><p>Angela growled in her throat as she followed the trail. She followed it to what looked like an abandoned factory. She took it in as the ice crystals stung her nostrils, telling of the winter chill soon to be spring. Her lip curled as she listened around her and Hamia caught up with her. She could hear him panting, as he pattered forward. Narrowing her eyes, she studied everything before reaching for her ear just as her phone rang. She touched the ear piece and answered, “Dean.”</p><p>
  <em>You’re gonna have to explain how you know that since you don’t have ringtones.</em>
</p><p>“Sensitive ears.”</p><p>
  <em>Very funny. Look, Jack managed to get Donny’s location out of Nick and…</em>
</p><p>“Abandoned factory?”</p><p>
  <em>How… never mind. You found it didn’t you?</em>
</p><p>“Yes. Are you coming?”</p><p>
  <em>Yeah. Me and Sam are on our way. With Nick.</em>
</p><p>“Then I’ll wait.”</p><p>
  <em>And why don’t you go and do your thing?</em>
</p><p>“Nothing wrong with backup.” She paused as she hid her reasoning before becoming glib, “And besides, I’d like to see Nick try to misbehave.”</p><p>
  <em>You can be scary, Angie. Effective, but scary. We’re on our way.</em>
</p><p>Angela hummed in her throat as she disconnected. She turned to look at the place and kneeled. She absently began petting Hamia and rubbing his ears. She could have charged in but she didn’t have the means to help Donatello. Even she knew that he needed Prussian Blue, and knowing Sam, he would make sure they have the stuff.</p><p>The main reason she didn’t go in was because she was still afraid. She was afraid of what others would think of her once they learned the truth. Donatello remembered her as more or less a hormonal, pregnant housewife who didn’t put up with nonsense. He had yet to see that she had changed since then. Because of Bobby and Mary’s reaction in Duluth, she was wary about it. Sam understood and he made it clear that he wasn’t scared of her but for her.</p><p>
  <em>You may embrace your humanity but even humans have that beastly side to them. It all comes down to how it is used.</em>
</p><p>Angela snorted as she remembered a choice conversation from a friend a long time ago. It had been an argument over succumbing to base instincts or not. She maintained that a stronger being used those instincts and knew when to stop. Now, she wasn’t sure and it had her afraid, but she wasn’t one to let it rule her. It was at the back of her mind as she staked out the place and waited for the boys to arrive. No trace of it was present when they pulled up. Rather, she was ready to do this and get a friend back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 14.18 Absence of a Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mary has died and the Winchesters are in mourning. Angela sings a funerary dirge and discovers a form of peace. Tag to Absence.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>No matter what happens, even with death, know that I’ve got you.</em>
</p><p>Angela sighed as she looked upwards at the sky and studied it. It was gray overhead, definitely reflective of the mood that permeated everyone there. Sadness, anger, pain, hurt… she could sense it all. The biggest one was guilt and regret.</p><p>“Mama.”</p><p>Angela turned her attention to her daughter and felt her little baby hands curl into her hair. She gave a sad smile at Jess as she whimpered into the crook of her neck. She gently rubbed Jess’ back and hummed low in her throat and murmured soothingly. “I know, bambina. I know how you feel.”</p><p>
  <em>I know that I haven’t been the greatest of mothers to my boys, but I am grateful that you were there for them.</em>
</p><p>Angela had looked out for the brothers all their lives. From the time they were babies to the adults they were now. She watched over them, provided help from the shadows until the day came when she came out of those shadows. Since then, they have worked together, and even when they had their rough patches, she always made sure they were doing okay.</p><p>Mary showed appreciation when she learned about her relationship with the boys. Even with the surprise that she mated with the youngest Winchester and had a baby together, Mary thanked her. She thanked her and it opened a new chapter in their relationship.</p><p>
  <em>I’m telling you this because… I don’t want Sam or Dean to think that I don’t love them. Ever since Amara brought me back, I’ve felt lost. Sam was a baby. Dean was my little boy. And I remember I was happy were I was. Here… I don’t know what to do. It’s like… hell.</em>
</p><p>Angela disliked secrets. She said it herself that their very nature was to incite distrust and destroy relationships. They killed literally and figuratively. This was one secret that she kept against her better judgment, but deep down, she understood where Mary had been coming from. She understood and she hated the fact that she could never find it within her to talk to the boys.</p><p>Angela never was upset about Mary’s aloofness. She knew her better than the boys. She knew the woman before she became a wife and mother. It was how they bonded when they first met. It certainly proved to be fun just to upset Mary’s father since the man had definite ideas about anyone being a creature of the supernatural. Mary used to say that she was the one that fueled her rebellious side and also taught her how to play cards close to the vest. It certainly baffled the boys how they interacted like nothing was wrong and only perpetuated the need to keep that secret.</p><p>
  <em>It’s true Dean. She’s at peace. It’s… what she wanted.</em>
</p><p>The look Dean gave her was one she hadn’t seen since he first learned that she and Mary had been friends. It was firmly imprinted in her mind and what caused her to doubt her position within their family for a long time. When she remembered what Dean told her when she was under a warlock’s spell, she remembered the sincerity of it and never doubted again.</p><p>Now… she was unsure. Dean was prone to outbursts of rage when feeling deeply and she sensed all his emotions when Jack brought back Mary’s body. She could sense all of their feelings; her empath was on overload. Everyone who knew and loved Mary reacted to the blast. She sensed it as she held onto Sam after Jack healed him.</p><p>Dean didn’t speak to her. She didn’t speak to him. She knew the best thing to do was to let him think and vent when he wanted. She knew that he wouldn’t do anything around Jess. Despite the fact that he teased Sam about his language habits, he also did his best to keep unpleasantness away from her. He loved his niece dearly.</p><p>“Mama, where Gamma?”</p><p>Angela heard the question as she watched Sam and Dean work to get the pyre ready. She blinked back tears and murmured, “Grandma is with Grandpa John in the pretty place.”</p><p>“Heva?”</p><p>“Yes, my little bambina.” Angela hugged her daughter as Jess cuddled into her. She could hear the baby sobs. “I know,” she murmured. “I know.”</p><p>
  <em>Angela leaned against the wall as she watched John hold Jess and he and Mary looked at each other full of love. She knew John missed Mary terribly. He always said that she was the one that put him into perspective. He just couldn’t translate that into being a better father to his sons.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Angela watched as husband and wife were together, not saying much. She saw the love and devotion between them. It spilled over as they spoiled their granddaughter. It gave a feeling of contentment, a feeling that she considered rare and to be cherished. It prompted her to take a picture of the three of them. She kept it and made copies…</em>
</p><p>“Are you certain it is wise to bring the baby here?”</p><p>“Casteel,” Jess whimpered as her hand reached out and grabbed Castiel’s tie.</p><p>Angela looked at her angel. Yes, he was her angel. The same as Gabriel. When she was alone in the world, they were the ones that came to her, especially when she needed them the most. Her lip twitched at Jess holding onto the angel’s tie. She didn’t say anything but shared a look of understanding with Castiel. She then shifted to look at Sam and Dean.</p><p>It felt… hurtful that she was standing there when she wanted to be there helping them. It was a painful reminder that she was an outsider. She and Castiel both were outsiders. She was always the outsider. Not human, not monster. She was the product of an act of serendipity discovered centuries ago. Even though Sam accepted all that she was, she still didn’t belong, and she dragged him down.</p><p>“You are not an outsider. Not to Sam.”</p><p>Angela glanced at Castiel and gave a sad smile, “No, but I dragged him to perdition. I chose him and he reciprocated.”</p><p>“And you both had a daughter. A beautiful creature. Made in love.” Castiel stared at her with a hard gaze. “The same thing that made Sam and Dean with their parents. It’s what you and Mary knew.” He paused and leaned in close to nearly whisper, “I know you hold secrets between you and her and… it’s between friends. I understand.”</p><p>“And after all I said about secrets when Dean decided leaving us was a good thing.” She shifted on her feet and looked back at the finished pyre. “That’s hypocrisy, Cas. I haven’t changed.”</p><p>“Yes, you have. Ever since you met Mary, you’ve started on a path that ended here. And it is better than what you were after you rescued from hell.”</p><p>
  <em>Angie, I’ve read everything there is about you and I get why you say you never knew that person, but I also see a difference between that you and this you. This you is better. It is your true self. And proof that my dad is wrong about others like you.</em>
</p><p>Angela opened her mouth slightly as she remembered that choice memory. It was after she met Mary at her school. She was on her own job and it became difficult when she sniffed out a Hunter. One that turned out to be the woman who became her best friend. It took a couple of times and a couple of fights for them to become friends. It certainly made pissing off Samuel Campbell a lot of fun. Deanna was much more understanding and it only infuriated Campbell more.</p><p>“Papa.”</p><p>Angela blinked to focus and realized that Jess was reaching for her father. It was time anyway. The pyre was starting to burn. She glanced at Dean and the feelings rolling off him were enough to make her choke. She heard Jess whimper and knew that she was feeling it too. She handed Jess to Sam, smiling sadly when she refused to let go of Castiel’s tie.</p><p>Gently stroking Jess’ dark locks that were already starting to look luscious like hers, Angela leaned in and kissed her baby’s head gently in comfort as she let a gentle purr emit from her throat. She didn’t look at Sam or the others as she turned away, but sensed Sam’s hurt at her action. There were some things that still needed to be ironed out. One was that feeling of betrayal when she heard them talk about Jack.</p><p>
  <em>You knew more than anyone that Jack was dangerous.</em>
</p><p>Angela happened to overhear that conversation and she felt hurt and anger. She walked in and didn’t bother hiding her anger. She was notorious for reading between the lines and she did there and reacted. She looked at both and laid it out on both of them. Before she left the room, the last thing she said… She took a breath and looked downward at the ground.</p><p>Pushing it aside just a little, she looked at the pyre, she began a hum and then began to vocalize the song she intended to sing. It had been a long time since she had sung this song, a dirge that was older than human civilization. The funny thing was that she didn’t remember ever learning it. It was like it was embedded in her brain when it came out when she first sung it. Now it seemed fitting to sing this for her friend.</p><p>Staring at the flames as they consumed the body, Angela vocalized the tune and slid smoothly into the words. It was a song that spoke of sorrow that the person was gone, but they rejoiced because they were at peace in their eternal rest. And peace was what Mary found.</p><p>Staring at the pyre, Angela continued singing the song. She felt the tears leak out of her eyes and trail down her cheeks as she sang the notes true and strong. Her tone never wavered, but she could feel the hitches in her breathing. It only encouraged her to continue singing stronger, like it was the only thing she had left.</p><p>As she sang, she remembered her fondest memories. She remembered the ‘girl times’ she and Mary had. The few hunts that they were in on together. Her memories of seeing Mary and her sons, when they were sick, how she was when the ‘miracles’ happened, the day she arrived when Mary died, then forward to seeing Mary again… It was like a memory overload as she heard the words she sang in the language she didn’t even know.</p><p>She didn’t notice that the wind was swirling around her as she sang. Her focus was on the pyre as her voice rang out. Tears were pouring out as she finished the last of the words but continued to vocalize the song. It was only then that she noticed the wind as it died down as the last of the notes died as if they were carried on the wind.</p><p>It was then she felt it. It was like a slight breeze touching her. She gasped, her breath coming in hitches as she stared as the fire started to die down. Her lip trembled as her throat convulsed. She felt everyone’s sorrow behind her, but she focused on the feeling and her eyes searched around. She understood now and nodded. She understood.</p><p>
  <em>If anything were to happen to me, I know that everything would be okay. It’s because of you. As you promised when you cast that spell in my subconscious.</em>
</p><p>Angela sighed, her breath a little thready. She looked up at the sky and stared at it. Every life she met touched her soul. Each little light bringing more light to her jaded way of life. Making it possible to be better. Now one was gone. Her soul was still a bright light. Just less dim. It shouldn’t have made a difference since there were others that she touched that had died, whether from violence or old age, but it did. Each absence of a light was felt.</p><p>Angela stared at the sky and searched it. Even though she understood, she felt it. She felt the absence of a light and while painful, it was… peaceful.</p><p>
  <em>Rest in peace, Mary…</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. 14.19 Light in the Box</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angela knows that Jack is in trouble and makes the decision to stand against the Winchesters' decision, but she still is a protector. Tag to Jack in the Box.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>He killed Mary.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was an accident!</em>
</p><p>Angela knew what Jack did was an accident. He didn’t mean to do what he did. She sensed his pain when he committed the act. He knew he did wrong and the lengths he went to in order to bring her back, spoke of guilt. She was willing to believe that not all was lost. She believed that there was something was still there.</p><p>
  <em>Something that dangerous needs to be put down. If you don’t see that, then you need to go back to school.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you need to learn a new lesson.</em>
</p><p>She knew that she was treading a fine line and that she was making everyone in the room nervous. Strong emotions have always been her strength and weakness when it came to her abilities. And that was the point when she eyed other world Bobby in the eye like she did. It was going to be a lesson that she was going to have to repeat since she could see similar expressions on the other hunters’ faces.</p><p>
  <em>I’m going to get in touch with some of my people…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you hurt him, then I will hurt you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is that a threat?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A warning. You will not touch him.</em>
</p><p>It was probably a mistake for her to flare like she did, but she was tired of handling with kid gloves. From day one since Jack walked into their lives, she accepted him, cared for him and it ventured into a mother’s love for a child.</p><p>It didn’t mean that she was blind to the potential danger. She was aware it was a possibility, but it was like any person she took under her wing. In the early days with the Winchesters, she knew Dean was the more dangerous of the two. She knew that when she guessed correctly that he killed Amy Pond and then lied about it to Sam.</p><p>As a person, Dean, she loved. He was a brother to her. He had looked out for her and been there when she needed it. They may disagree on things, but they always respected each other. She stood by him because she agreed with his thinking. His methods were something to be desired at times. Now… now it was different. She was laying down the gauntlet and giving a warning, just as she did to the remaining hunters.</p><p>
  <em>This goes to all of you. You may search, but you shall not touch him. There will be hell to pay if it comes down to that.</em>
</p><p>She meant business and she knew that the boys were not approving of what she declared. This was not the first time she had enforced a ‘decree.’ They had forgotten what she uttered after they spent a stint in heaven. Or they preferred not to think about it. The problem with a lengthy lifespan and near immortality like her, you had a hard time forgetting things.</p><p>The other hunters understood her meaning and they nodded. She could see the fear in their eyes. She didn’t like it, but that was the way the dice was going to roll on this. She had to do it previously a lifetime or so ago, if only so that the person that was suspect would get a fair shake. She disliked using people’s fear of her and what she could do, but sometimes it worked better than the loyalty she hard earned. It also put her at odds with the boys.</p><p>
  <em>It’s been a long time since you used threats.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas, we need to find Jack before anyone else does.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I understand.</em>
</p><p>Angela hated going behind the Winchesters’ backs, but she was well aware that they were in a bad place right now. Even though Dean was trying to be strong, she felt him ready to break and mourn and Sam… There was nothing new there. She and Sam always had the ability to sense each other’s feelings even when they closed off to one another.</p><p>Castiel understood the need to find Jack. They were both in the mindset that while Jack’s soul was an issue, they knew the boy wasn’t a bad person. It was a matter of finding him and explaining things. She was a firm believer in asking questions before shooting. She gathered evidence before casting judgment. She knew better the consequences of getting the wrong person or not getting all of the facts. It was why she was so pissed at Bobby, but she was reasonable to take into account he was based off of life experiences from his world.</p><p>Castiel went to get help. She knew he would appeal to the other angels. There were very few being that could look for the essence of angel or sniff out their power. She was just polite about it. Some were good at hiding what they were, but they were always found out. She didn’t trust the angels, but they were their best bet.</p><p>
  <em>There is no spell for fixing his soul.</em>
</p><p>It was hard not to eavesdrop since her hearing was better than the average human. She could hear even the smallest of sounds if she wasn’t careful. Dean had always wondered how she wasn’t driven mad by it. It took discipline and self-control to learn to treat the little noises like white noise and ignore it. Conversations were much harder to ignore.</p><p>She felt bad, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that Dean wanted to lie to Jack and put him into the box that they dragged home and keep him there for good. It wasn’t the putting Jack in the box. It was the lying that had her pissed. She was angry, angry like when Crowley’s interference nearly got Sam killed, but it was not quite like that. Close enough though.</p><p>
  <em>You lied to him, Sam. You both lied to him. This is not the right way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’s dangerous, Angie. We always knew that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then you must feel the same about me.</em>
</p><p>It was an unfair remark she made to Sam since she knew that he never thought of her like that. Unfair, but a point had to be made. It pained her to say it since Sam truly oved her, flaws and all. It pained her how cold she had been to her mate when they gave Mary the hunter’s funeral. She wanted to curse her hearing then and she wanted to curse it now.</p><p>She once told Sam and Dean that they may not always agree, but she stood by them. This time though, she stood against them. Like Castiel, she was against keeping Jack locked up. She believed he could be taught right from wrong and as long as it was explained to him, it would be okay. What Dumah did, was unforgiveable; manipulation always had as stench to her.</p><p>Standing there in the bunker, the damage done to the box and Jack free… it was going to be a decision that would put her at odds. Maybe she was wrong, but she believed in that chance. She stood there, tense as two glowing orbs came into view. She knew who it was.</p><p>“Angie.”</p><p>She heard Sam’s voice in a low tone. She was aware that she had stepped forward. She understood that this is what both of her boys feared. Jack was the most powerful being they knew of. He was the son of Lucifer and a human woman. A being that was considered an abomination, that she defended because she was like him. Neither one nor the other of her kind. The boy she took in from day one and tried to teach and raise as she was her daughter.</p><p>Looking at the glowing orbs, she took a breath and channeled her power. She could feel her eyes flicker in response and no doubt they were flaring in response. No one alive had seen the full extent of her abilities. The Centurion had come close to force testing it out of her, but that was forced. Willing execution of them was still a mystery and with her lost grace running through her veins… she could see why the boys were wary about her. The other hunters were nervous.</p><p>She had been born and taught the ways men and creatures had discovered their unique gifts. She learned magic, alchemy magic, Enochian magic, the ways of the shaman warriors, the assassins and the lessons of Lord Shiva. Many things she had learned throughout her five plus centuries of life. All of it culminating into what she was.</p><p>She had known from the beginning that Jack had the potential to be dangerous. Any person had that. With his abilities that was amplified. She hoped to teach him enough to know right from wrong, that it wasn’t what you are and what you have, but how you use it. She would do what it took to save Jack, but she would also do what she had been doing since the beginning, and that was protect. She looked at Jack as he advanced, standing between the boy and the Winchesters.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. 14.20 Lights of Moriah</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chuck is having a temper tantrum and decided to throw the world into chaos. Angela knows that she stands with the Winchesters. They need to fix this. She is ready for a war. Tag to Moriah.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak. – Sun Tzu</em>
</p><p>There was one standing rule. It was not even a rule. It was more of a line of loyalty and what it meant to be family. It was always there and done, even when certain decisions hurt the people that mattered the most, or it pained the person that had to make it.</p><p>It was mostly motherly instinct that drove her to walk away. Motherly instinct and the need to prove that one mistake didn’t condemn a person to the ugliest of monikers drove her to walk away from the Winchesters, her brother and husband, and walk with Castiel to find Jack and to try to save him. She walked away from them… from him.</p><p>Always and forever.</p><p>That was their thing. It had been since the beginning when they were serious about their relationship. Sam was determined to make every moment count since he was well aware she could possibly outlive him. It since then became their version of declaring their love for each other and a promise to be by each other’s side. And promises she kept. Until she broke it.</p><p>She couldn’t let Jack die. She knew he was sorry about what he had done and it was an accident. <em>She</em> was sorry that she hadn’t tried to even figure out how to fix things before they got too far. She just let it be, thinking, hoping, that things would carry on. That they would be the family they were and if there was a problem, they would deal with it together. Wishful thinking on her end towards disaster and now all she could hope for was to try and fix it.</p><p>While she and Castiel never saw eye to eye on the destiny thing, they had a similar mindset when it came to Jack. She teamed up with her angel and went looking for the boy. She was content to let her angel vent. She was rather proud of him. Learning how to be more human and even experience being human at a few points. She was most impressed by his driving skills and voiced it only to have him mutter that she was being too much of a proud parent.</p><p>Maybe that was the truth, but it was what she held onto when Jack found them. Maybe something was wrong with her, but she felt no fear of Jack. Yes, he could do things and had done things. Mitigating circumstances you could call it. It wasn’t because she didn’t have a soul. She did. She just wasn’t afraid of Jack, and that baffled everyone and annoyed everyone and pissed off Dean.</p><p>She couldn’t be afraid of him. She loved Jack as her own. He technically was still a baby in an adult body. She laid down her protection on him the same she would do for her own blood daughter. No judgments came. Just relief that she found him and that he was okay. It showed when she grabbed him in a hug and refused to let go. She held onto him as they sat in the cemetery and talked. And that’s when she sensed it.</p><p>She felt it rather than saw or smelled it. Sam would say it was because she had been transformed into an apex hunter from her lost grace. Maybe that was so and accepted that. It seemed to help explain why before then she was able to sense things, mostly of the supernatural variety and do what she had to do. This was more because she knew who was coming. Because it once held the same intent for her.</p><p>It was tempting fate as the phrase went, but she was not going to let the easy thing happen. It was easy to kill someone because they killed. There was a difference though and it came down to intent. She knew Jack made a mistake. Without a soul, he couldn’t distinguish the fine lines and he went with what made sense to him. Like telling the world to stop lying and it happened. It was how Castiel learned her feelings on what to do with Jack, which were what she had been saying all along.</p><p>Mother instinct kicked in and she stood in front of Jack, putting herself between the boy and Dean as he held the gun. She looked at him head on and refused to move when he told her to get out of the way. She gave one shake of her head when he shouted at her and dropped to the ground to wrap her body around Jack despite his protests. She never stopped looking at Dean as he raised the gun.</p><p>“If you truly think he is a monster, then shoot me too. And then Jess.”</p><p>It was a low blow, but it only emphasized the point she had been trying to make since Mary died. She looked up at Dean as she said it waited for him to make his move. She could hear Sam protesting and hear the fear and anger in his voice because he was seeing everything. She sensed Chuck and she felt disquiet about the whole thing but kept her focus on Dean. It all came down to the man she called brother.</p><p>Once, a long time ago, she posed the question to both Winchesters about pulling the trigger on someone they once called friend or family. About whether they can truly look the person in the eye and completely disavow them, no more association and see them completely as the enemy. It was asked when they questioned why she let someone who clearly was hurting people go. She gave her reasons and was one of the few times she went behind their backs because she wasn’t satisfied with what they found and their assessment.</p><p>That was the question she was putting Dean to the test with as she looked at him. She said what she said and now it was up to him. She never broke his gaze, even when she felt Jack whimper and struggle under her grip. She was making a big gamble since Jack could easily use his powers on her. He had a couple of times but never to the extreme he had on the boys and Castiel. She trusted Dean as she trusted Sam with her life.</p><p>She knew Dean couldn’t pull the trigger on them both and felt pride at her brother. She showed it with the slight nod she gave him and stood up. She gave a reassuring pat to Jack, relieved that things were going to be okay. That was until Chuck entered and her disquiet returned.</p><p>She never knew what to think of Chuck after learning he was God. She made sure he was okay when they all thought he was a prophet since she thought he was human. Her contact with God was a dream and she saw Him as an old man, a gardener. She was grateful that he and Amara guaranteed that her baby was safe in the womb and would be born safe, but she had a nagging suspicion that things were… She didn’t like it and it was confirmed when Chuck pretty much demanded that Dean pick the gun and shoot Jack.</p><p>The disquiet began to creep up her spine as she listened to the babble nonsense she was hearing from Chuck and the things he wanted to happen. It was one of the few times she had an incredulous look on her face as she stared at Chuck. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, and it had her angry and rightly so.</p><p>Chuck had the ability to fix things, but he saw fit to hurt, rather kill Jack. It was a shot in the heart, nothing like when she lost Sam before at Cold Oak, but it was still pain. She even felt Sam’s pain when he shot Chuck in the shoulder and playing on her understanding of how the world works in terms of balance… She couldn’t help but look at Chuck. She knew that he was not happy, but she was beyond angry.</p><p>Bringing about the end because people refused to cooperate… it was petty, but it was also something that you couldn’t really get rid of. Humans were the same way and it left her incredulous, but she had been guilty of the same thing. Now though, she was beyond angry. Seeing Jack’s lifeless body on the ground fueled a rage she hadn’t felt since Sam was on the verge of death due to Crowley. She went on a rampage and she felt like doing that, but she couldn’t do that. Chuck was gone and the world had taken a turn for the worse. She could feel it in the very air and in her bones on what was happening, and she felt her muscles tense.</p><p>Living for over five hundred years, she had seen things that challenged the conventional norm that hunters knew. Before she came into their lives, Sam and Dean had a certain idea of things. She walked in and they learned of things that were only found in the most obscure of lore or she taught them. They helped each other and while mistakes were made, they made it through everything that threatened to beat them down and bury them.</p><p>Now they were about to be faced with that again. She looked at the literal walking dead that was fast approaching them. The darkness of night made it like one of those horror films and it might as well be. The world was on a collision course to the end and all because that God was having a temper tantrum and caught in the crossfire were the billions of people that had no idea what was going on in the world.</p><p>Looking around as the undead were closing in, she moved closer to Sam, Dean and Castiel. Castiel pulled out his angel blade while Dean grabbed two pieces of the iron grating, handing one to Sam. Even with an injury, the boys would fight to the bitter end. They readied themselves before she silently grabbed a hold of both iron rods and focused as she infused them with the one thing that would probably be their trump card in all of this.</p><p>Nothing was said as she looked at all three in the eye. She knew that Sam and Dean were worried about their greatest treasure. She was confident because she always operated on the assumption that something like this would happen. She gave them a nod of reassurance as she turned to face outward. Without a word, she took her chakram from her belt and handed it to Sam before giving a downward gesture and a shake of her wrists.</p><p>“The celestial flame,” she heard Castiel mutter and gave slight upward turn of her lip.</p><p>Her hands were glowing, but fire was engulfing them. It brought to mind Kali when she tried to take on Lucifer except Kali’s flames crawled up her arms. The ones on her hands stayed confined to her hands. If there was one thing that she emphasized when it came to her abilities and that was to maintain control. Of course, that could go by the wayside and she had proven that, but for the most part, the differences between her and others with abilities came down to control and a command of a gift.</p><p>Now they were faced with odds and mobs were often an overwhelming force. They needed someone with the ability to command. They were entering a war now. Survival was the key. They needed to survive if they were going to fix this and make the world back to what it was. For the innocents and for their family. They had to fight and survive.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>